zkai- ; chronicles of seireitei

2008-12-31T11:16:00.002+08:00

Today will be the day when we shed our past of 2008 into memories and step into a new reality of 2009. But is that ever possible?

For me, 2008 has a been a year of unforgettable drama. Perhaps I will forget it soon, but that will be because of my strong will in wanting to forget it, instead of the events being too watered down. 2008 was filled with many milestones in my life, and very very questionable decisions. History proves we are always like this - for it is only when the moment in question passes that we realise how significant it was and how life would be so different without that moment. I would safely desribe 2008 as such a year for me.

In retrospect, I realise my life does follow a strange pattern. All the even years are usually quite questionable, while the odd years are generally more peaceful. Will 2009 follow the same pattern? Enlisting in the army has already broke the standard routine of academics of 10 years, so once again, uncertainty lies ahead. Well, economists love using that phrase don't they?

As the global economy, and more importantly, Singapore's economy falls into a period of slower growth, it has interestingly become an exciting time for me. My interest for urban projects and new developments were reinstated at this time when the government seems to be expanding in their expenditure. And this is how it all works out. Nothing is absolutely labelled as 'good' or 'bad' in this world. Everything is mentioned and classified only in relativity. This is what I always believed in life - everything happens for a reason, and we all are but little windsurfers riding on the endless wave in a sea of everything.

2008-11-15T14:37:00.003+08:00

As a boy stares out of his window, all he could see was a colourless world.

Filled with silence and grayness, the boy thought of his dream the previous night.

"What could be so beautiful that flows endlessly without sleep?"

His head was full of voices and song, but he could not utter a word.

This boy was born in a world without sound.

As he lies on the bed, his eye-lids grew heavier.

After all, what was the point of staring out if there's only nothingness to be found?

He slowly seeped into a world of his own - away from reality, away from us.

It was then, he heard a voice singing...

The evening hangs beneath the moon

A silver thread on darkened dune

With closing eyes and resting head

I know that sleep is coming soon

Upon my pillow, safe in bed

A thousand pictures fill my head

I cannot sleep my minds a flight

And yet my limbs seem made of lead

If there are noises in the night

A frighting shadow, flickering light

Then I surrender unto sleep

Where clouds of dreams give second sight

What dreams may come both dark and deep

Of flying wings and soaring leap

As I surrender unto sleep

There, as the connection was made, a tear slid down his tiny face...

2008-11-09T21:15:00.002+08:00

As I passed my 19th birthday, I wondered aloud whatever happened to the dreams, aspirations and intricate plans to realise them? This is the first time in my life I relate myself to that classic scene in dramas, asking myself a rhetorical question over and over again for the whole of last week - Did we forget something along the way?

My concept of past, present and future has always been rather volatile for the longest time I could remember But lately, I find myself simplifying things, perhaps too much, and actually came up with straightforward definitions to describe the three time zones, fixated and spiritless.

Past - My years of education and school life prior to national service.

Present - National Service

Future - University life, work and financial independence.

While most people will agree that the above definitions could not have been more accurate and practical in relation to their own lives, I find myself saddled with a worry that I have missed out something really really important. Why was it that I was able to define these three time zones when I couldn't have come up with solid answer in the past? Do you call this maturing? So as we mature, do we start to glue ourselves with realistic situations and actually modify or abandon those dreams and plans we once had that we thought would construct our ideal lives?

Yes, maybe. That's probably why as we progress in education from kindergaten to primary school to secondary school, we learn vocabulary like daydreaming, fantasy and ideals. Eventually, all these plans and dreams we had becomes the innocent entertainment for the society. I started to think I was not missing something, but I was too caught up with the past. Perhaps I had something I had back then that I did not now.

As I carried on filling up my life with meaningful activities that I had always wanted to engage in for a long time, I continued wondering, for perhaps one day I might figure out what was missing this time, attribute or ingredient. But for now, I stand firm to my personal belief - nothing can transcend time.

2008-10-02T23:37:00.003+08:00

“The future for our world is a bleak one – and I’m pretty sure the Media is the one at fault.”

“Why do you say so? The Media is necessary to present news in order to grant greater awareness and educate people on the affairs and issues going on around them. In what way does it turn the world ‘bad’?”

“Statistics show that there have been increasing crime rates around the world, and ridiculously inhumane acts like ‘Happy Slapping’ have been sensationalized by the media in the UK. In fact, more young people are beginning to think such behavior is acceptable and have no qualms engaging in it. Furthermore, these numbers only reflect an upward trend it seems like the world is indeed going down should this continue.”

“Firstly, the example you used, ‘Happy Slapping’, as you mentioned, occurs in the UK. It does not represent the whole world. A country or local culture can possibly face a problem in their social morality as in this case, but equating it to the collapse of the world’s would be too much. Secondly, I am pretty sure parents and teachers in the UK must have been horrified by this news and sought to instill values into their children and students. With the majority knowing fully well that it is a wrong act committed and are taking proactive steps to stop it, I do not see how ‘the rest of the world’ can helplessly fall into a slippery slope of moral degradation with the Media being responsible. Already as it is, the media is being criticized for sensationalizing the news. When people know and can differentiate right from wrong, it means there is very much hope and moral values are still very much intact in this world.”

“Okay, then how do you explain why these figures (crime rates) are increasing? One fact that cannot be denied is that violent computer games do affect children into having violent tendencies, which might turn into serious crimes if not curtailed. If a kid grows up playing violent games and feels it is acceptable to act violently, he may not be alone. Friends in school or elsewhere are important spheres of influence and them agreeing that violence is acceptable will cause a domino effect which solidifies the notion and bring the world to chaos.”

“I feel that you have a very myopic view of how we are being influenced today. Yes, I cannot deny that many young children might have their values shaped from television they watch or games they play. But it is up to the discerning parent or authority to decide what is right for the society. This is the main reason why there are restrictions or even bans on violent games or videos. Ultimately, you cannot simply blame media for this phenomenon. The media is but merely a channel for information and expression to run through – these ideas and information are still generated from other individuals. If you want to put a blame to such a negative trend, you should be blaming the violent game developers specifically, not the media as a whole.”

“Then how do you explain the increase in divorce rates and sex scandals. Aren’t all these a result of the media portraying divorce as an upward trend and people start realizing it is not that bad to divorce anyway. As for the sex scandals, it happens so frequently that people these days just shrug it off as ‘oh, another one’, instead of feeling that it is absolutely wrong. The media is at fault here – because they used the tactic of showing something bad so often people start thinking it’s the norm.”

“Well whatever you just said is only conveniently using the media as a scapegoat in our own moral wrongdoings. The increase in divorce rates might be attributed to other reasons like the increase in our right of choice. Certainly, there is nothing wrong with a couple divorcing if they are unhappy, unless of course, there are children involved. As for why the sex scandals reported frequently in the media, it all boils down to simple human nature. Indeed, the catch phrase ‘everyone loves a scandal’ is very relevant in describing human behaviour. That is exactly what the media does to catch people’s attention. It makes it no different from an innocent household appliance business – capitalizing on the trends. People love to gossip, whether or not this carries negativity to the society, it has been going on for as long as human began communicating – long even before the media was born. Whether or not an individual chooses to be influenced by the media is an entirely different story. The media basically portrays three main groups of information, to be put simply, consisting of the ‘good’, ‘bad’, and ‘neutral’. Obviously, examples of good news are heroic acts by certain people, and the report probably consists of lines trying to encourage the emulation of such acts from the public. Factual reports like statistics and visits by leaders can be considered under ‘neutral’. So what does the ‘bad’ categorizes? There can’t possibly be a newspaper headline asking people to commit more murder right? The news company will close down never hear the end to it! What I can agree with you is that the media does come with its negative side effects, as with everything in this world. These negative effects, as you mentioned, are actually indirectly caused by misinterpretation of the media, and not the fault of the media per se.”

“Ah ha! See, I got you there! You just said there is nothing wrong with a couple divorcing if they are unhappy. Isn’t it utterly destructive to a society to have high divorce rates? Don’t you feel that it is the media who is responsible for this? Are you also now a victim of the media?”

“No! The media is reporting the truth by saying there are more people divorcing! Even without the media, people will start to realize this is a trend albeit at a slower pace. But that is not the point. The point is that it is us who create these statistics. More marriages are ending in divorce. We started the trend – if there is anyone to blame, it is ultimately us, not the media. And yes, I agree there is nothing wrong with a divorce if a marriage is unsalvageable, only provided they have no children. How can you conclude it is a bad thing and detrimental to society when people in this very society are doing it like it is the norm? Obviously you fail to realize that the so called ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are benchmarked by us, and this yardstick evolves with time. This is a very natural progression and liberation of a society. There is nothing wrong with it. Human are built that way, if not till today we will be living in caves without any form of communication! We might perceive something as a moral taboo today, but fast forward a thousand years and everyone might be engaging in it as normally as eating and drinking. We are only alive for a century or so in this vast time-span of human evolution. It is important to understand that our beliefs and perceptions do not necessarily transcend time, and therefore we are not qualified in any way to make a moral judgment on something in far future. For an example, guests bringing wine is a norm in America when invited over for dinner, but in France, you might very well be thrown out for suggesting that the host does not have good enough wine for you. These different cultures existing in today’s world are very well a microcosm of different stages of societal evolution.

Well, my brother came home today with that bold statement all the way at the top. Before I knew it, my family joined into this furious conversation that jumbled media, ethics and finally philosophy. What a family...you might say.

2008-09-30T23:54:00.005+08:00

The overhead TV went on breaking news on the US bailout plan failure. I sat uncomfortably on the cold seat below, toggling Haruki Murakami from hand to hand, seemingly never finding a resolute hand to hold. It might be because of the ongoing dysfunction drama (yet again) on sheep chasing, or it might have been the painful wait to see a Medical Officer. Yes, here I am, sitting in an army camp medical centre, waiting for my sacred chance of consultation. I must have shifted seats more than ten times across the room, browsed through all their medical information brochures, and even studied the cross-sectional diagrams of tuberculosis in my three and a half hour wait. Of course, I do not resent it, and it is not like I am in any particular hurry as well. Being in the close company of Haruki Murakami is good enough. But, this past week has been too ''medical" for me, so much that I can't ignore but ponder about this sacred profession they call a calling.

Flashback four days before. I stepped into an operating theatre for the first time. My first instinct was to ask for blankets as I lay on the table waiting for the anesthetist. It wasn't particularly something I would define as an operation, since it only involved an innocuous part of my foot - a toe. Still, it was an intriguing place to be in, at least that's what I thought. My first observation was that doctors appeared in blue, female nurses in pink and male nurses in yellow. I tried to find a reflecting spot on their gigantic operating table lamps above to witness the operation process but failed terribly. In between shivers, I couldn't help but smile when nurses just poured attentively over me, bringing blankets (even more of them) and asking me if I were feeling okay every 5 minutes. Strangely, all the nurses seem to remember my name. I glanced at the tools they used, the attention they paid, the concentration they had, and the electricity to run this entire sacred room - all for but a single toe.

Fast forward four days - back to the camp's medical centre. Medics seen running errands everywhere, albeit in a more chaotic manner. There were no female nurses, and there were seldom smiles, if any. Orders were shouted across the centre, and patient forms get mixed up or go missing ever too often. A stark difference for two groups of people working in the same industry isn't it?

In the midst of my three and a half hour long wait, I wanted many of times to ask what was going on, but decided against it since my case was just simply a submission of documentation which will be obviously placed in lower priority compared to those with an on-site condition. Then the worst happened. I was the second last patient left in the medical centre and they declared they lost my form. I took a glance at the clock and it was already six-fifteen. Then everything started happening as though someone pushed a button. Every medic began searching for the lost form, and a few decided to accelerate things by requesting I fill up another while they inquire about my medical history. There was it - scenes of medics running around chaotically again, but this time it hit me.

No doubt it was chaotic, they did it for me, for them, for every single patient. They are at hard work because of them. This puts them at no difference with the staff at the hospital four days back. They were attentive when they needed to be, and concentrated when it was time. They apologized for their mistake but I was more than ready to forgive them. Perhaps a reasonable person they see today might make up for an impatient patient the next. I got to see the MO shortly and left the centre at six-thirty.

Now I see why they call it a calling. Whether or not those medics did the rushing so they could book out early, it still shows they care, and care is the most important attribute in this health care industry isn't it? While men who stay out books out at five-thirty or even earlier, the MO I last saw was still in the midst of busy work at six-thirty. He had no airs, no signs of impatience, just care, concern and professionalism. Ultimately, there is no comparison here, as both parties deserve the utmost honour and appreciation. It is no wonder why they choose the best to receive this sacred calling.

2008-08-18T19:56:00.003+08:00

How many times have we heard people around us declaring their desperate need to escape? When the workplace gets too pent up with stress, many start packing their bags for a holiday. That is 'escaping', literally. Well, of course not everyone can afford a getaway or even a plane ticket just like that, so where do the rest of the 'escapists' go? On a busy train ride home today, I somehow stumbled upon my answer.

Art and expression has always been part of society since life began. It just merely took on very different forms as humans evolved along. Along the way, this led to the parallel connection between the needs human have been yearning to fulfill and the development of artistic culture in society. But the bottom line is that art and expression exist because of an 'escapist' nature inside every single one of us.

Now, don't get agitated and jump into arguments against the previous statement. By 'escapist' here I do not imply any negative connotation. It is, to me, just the simplest word to substitute 'let out', arguably another word for 'expression'. Fact is, even as many are resisting change in their lives, we are subconsciously seeking ways to 'escape' from the status quo. The simple act of stepping out of one's comfort zone hints of that.

Art comprises of different things to people. For the sake of simplicity, I define it here as perhaps a collective name for literature, architecture, drama, music, paintings and so on. When we read a good poem or watch a good play that we relate to, we are in a way 'escaping'. We either subconsciously form an imagery of a world we want to live in, or direct a dramatic scene to encapsulate what we are feeling. When we admire a painting, we separate time from our continuous reality by creating a static tabloid of our life with that frame on the wall. When we listen to music, we let ourselves go. We attach our memories and events to the melodies, after which we move on to listen to another, thus 'escaping' from it. And when we want to revive the emotions brought about by those events, we press play on those songs again. In this way, we are constantly searching for both a separation, as well as a connection for ourselves to use conveniently - a classic contradiction and hypocrisy found in human nature indeed.

Amazingly, art and expression do not conform to any geographical boundaries at all. There is no one country in the world that has no hints of art. This further adds to the conclusion that it is the humans that have created this need for expression, not just one society, one race, but everyone, and almost every other living thing, I dare say. In this way, people who express themselves through different forms of art and people who appreciate these artworks are somewhat transcending across boundaries and doing exactly what they preached - the much wanted 'escape by travelling'.

Recently, I felt the need to travel. I could have whined and fantasized about going overseas despite my tight schedule, but a simple visit to the library has settled that. On the eighth storey of the National Library in the heart of the city, I quietly travelled the world alongside the likes of Tadao Ando and Frank Lloyd Wright. It was pure art - architecture, at its very best.

2008-07-25T23:22:00.003+08:00

The Prisoner's Dilemma under the Game Theory is classically defined as the following situation: Two suspects are arrested by the police. The police have insufficient evidence for a conviction, and, having separated both prisoners, visit each of them to offer the same deal. If one testifies (defects) for the prosecution against the other and the other remains silent, the betrayer goes free and the silent accomplice receives the full 10-year sentence. If both remain silent, both prisoners are sentenced to only six months in jail for a minor charge. If each betrays the other, each receives a five-year sentence. Each prisoner must choose to betray the other or to remain silent. Each one is assured that the other would not know about the betrayal before the end of the investigation. How should the prisoners act?

The movie I just caught portrays this scenario. Watching Batman - The Dark Knight might be considered really late for many, but it is too early for me to see the end of it. No doubt the storyline was overwhelmingly dark and intensifying, it ironically brought some light to some of the very basic human behavioural instincts we live by.

I used to tell my family I believe it is really a thin line between insanity and sanity. I mean, what do you define as insane? People often get "insane" and "irrational" mixed up. Somehow, modern society informally judges one's "sanity" by their ability to judge cognitively and rationalise. This, I feel, has become more of a standard that has been moderated instead of crediting the diversity in thought processes. That could partly explain why some exceedingly bright geniuses gets misunderstood as "weird" and "psychotic".

Thus, I could, somehow, mysteriously relate to the Joker; not his sadism, but his theories and his love for experiments. I agreed with what he said in the show, "(Insanity) is just like gravity, all you need is a little push". However, let's not let ourselves be influenced by the real-life controversies surrounding the actor's death and plight and overrate the Joker's character. Instead, we should see him as an abstract messenger from the story-tellers passing a simple message to the audience.

Indeed, the fragility of the human mind - our greatest weakness, as well as our greatest strength.

2008-07-12T22:47:00.002+08:00

I had to make the exception to blog about the following even though I just posted an entry a few days back. This special obligation, I felt, was much needed, because I haven't enjoyed myself like this in a really long time.

Anyway, we the usual gang of three were usually supposed to meet every Friday, but this Saturday's "make-up" session was completely marvelous and overwhelmingly fabulous! So much so I had to take time off to post this entry. It started with a shopping experience from Vivo City all the way to the whole stretch of town. It was tiring yes, but definitely worth the squeezing through MRT and the crazy sales-whore crowds. Well for one, Ricky found a very good deal he couldn't stop talking about it the whole day and night.

The unforgettable part came during dinner. Following Ricky's suggestion, we headed to Marina Square MOF (Ministry of Food) for a Japanese dinner. We chose to be seated at the outdoors. And that seriously made all the difference. Our table was situated along a corridor just seemingly next to the NDP Parade that was going on while we were dining. We were eating while enjoying the scenery and spectrum of lights and sounds from the floating platform when it came - the magnificent fireworks, unblocked, right in front of us. It was so stunning even the waitresses serving stopped midway in their duties to turn around to admire. With each shot of firework, it seems to form layers on top of each other and got closer to us. It was this effect that made it so spectacular and unforgettable. This, I must say, is the first year I ever got such a good view of the fireworks.

With that, even the usual 'not-too-enthusiastic-about-national-events' Ricky and Nigel got really excited and felt that immense pride for our home and nation. The feeling for me was, of course, overwhelming. And the food made it all so pleasurable too...especially the dessert - heavenly. Gosh, I must have used so many words to describe such a wonderful experience I have officially ran out of vocabulary for more. After the fireworks, you could tell everyone in the vicinity was high. Songs and cheers were heard everywhere and I momentarily felt like snatching a microphone to shout "HELLO SINGAPORE!".

Somehow, through this experience, we were once again reminded how lucky we were to have met - the three of us. It was probably the best thing that happened from NS so far for all the three of us. Now this brings me to another point about life, about how unpredictable and fragile things might be. The three of us met by what I would call a "accidental-situation". In the sense either of us might not have OOT-ed, or we might not have taken the time and effort, or even have the chance to speak to each other and find out more about ourselves. If so, poof, we wouldn't have existed.

It's been a long time I am so thankful for my friends. So much so I can't wait for the next meet up. With us now being like that, I can't imagine us after ORD. Gosh. One word - explosive.

2008-07-08T20:32:00.003+08:00

If you had to kill at least someone, but were a given a choice - to kill one young man of age twenty, or to kill five eighty-year-old women, which would you choose?

When making such a decision, the first thing that comes to your mind would be the consequence of any decision. You will weigh taking a life versus taking five lives. Obviously, only taking a life would be the lesser of the two evils. Then comes the next step, analysing the potential damage. If you kill that young man of age twenty, you are denying him of at least another 60 years of his life, assuming he lives as old as the five women. However, the five old women might have neared the end of their lives anyway, so perhaps it would be better to kill them instead?

Are you affected by the direct literal consequence, or the potential consequence? As much as this question demands a straightforward answer between the two choices, many of us cannot help but take some time to actually ponder over our decision. For many, the moment the potential consequence sets in, it clouds our minds and removes us from our simple one-factor-to-consider scenario. Taking away this "ceteris-paribus" status makes individuals go into a mini-panic, and this activates their emotional side that will eventually affect their decision.

Now, think again. This question is about killing, thus emotional glands will definitely be activated. This is because us, homo sapiens, have longed been programmed to think of killing as a wrongdoing, a sin, a traumatising experience should one experience or witness it. But why is this so? Why should killing here, in this case, be seen as such? Is it because of religion? Is it the far-too-successful nurturing of the society that makes us feel and think this way? No background information has been attached to the question - it could have been about saving many other lives! In the sense that one party's the murderer(s) and a death sentencing could have saved lives of potential victims.

Next, why did the question deliberately choose the subjects of a young man and five old women? One young man of age twenty gives us the impression he has a bright future ahead of him. Why? The term young injects positivity in our minds, the age further confirms it. The male gender is more perceived to have a bright future, in the sense, an illustrious career, a responsible head of the home, an important figure in society. On the contrary, five old women portray a frail image, and the age further confirms it. Furthermore, the female gender here, coupled by their age, gives us the impression they are needed to be taken care of. This adds an idea of burden they are giving to others around them, and thus not as useful to society as compared to, the former subject.

If the question had their subject's genders and ages edited, would you still have gone through the same thought process to make your decision? Sure, the decision might have been the same. But in this case, the process is far more important. Why do societal norms and stereotypes spring into action even when making such a seemingly inconsequential hypothetical decision? Has society made us or have we made society? This is important, for this is how we are governed, how we think, and how we set our laws. I am not trying to propose some New World theory, but I just wanted to highlight how much our society, our government, our nurturing environment affects the most delicate and crucial part of the homo sapien - the human mind.

Yes, it might have been convenient to fall back on such beliefs. It gives us a sense of reassurance and stability, but could we have been denying ourselves of something better? What if you were told one day everything is, but everything? Or maybe its us that are the problem - we choose to accept too many different interpretations and think too much.

Just like that, I denied myself of what I preached.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood - which one will you choose?

2008-06-23T21:53:00.003+08:00

My Basic Technician Course specialising in Small Arms has officially started today. But interestingly, what I took away from the first day of my course was not the information my instructors passed down, nor is it the new friends and course mates I might have made, but what a seemingly unassuming character, a publications salesman, said.

What does "R&D" stands for? Yes, we all know that...it stands for Research and Development. But in business? It apparently takes on a whole new meaning. It stands for "Rip & Duplicate". Well..in terms of business ideas at least. Sounds cliche eh? I tossed it aside initially thinking it is something typical of what a speaker encouraging and simplifying entrepreneurship might say. But upon further thought, I realised there's a lot of truth in that line.

We all read rag-to-riches success stories everywhere, and how many times have we thought - I could have came up with that idea too! Or at least - I thought that idea existed somewhere before? Yes, indeed, many times, it is the marketing strategies and business processes that distinguishes the successful ones and those with just plain ideas. Just think of Facebook. It is worth billions and it dubbed the next big thing taking over the internet along the ranks of giants like Google and Microsoft. But the basic idea and concept of Facebook - isn't it just another Friendster, MySpace? And even now there are new kids on the block called Yuwie, Twitter or sorts, but none are close to the extent of success of Facebook. To think Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook originally with the intention of bringing college students closer into a online community. And if you think Facebook's golden age is over, think again. Top engineers are defecting from rival giants to work in this 'coolest' firm - obviously something big is on their sleeves. Other examples, like Hyflux's Olivia Lum, made herself millionaire by selling her water filtration systems and gradually expanded. Obviously, ideas such as a water filter was long present before she made it into such a lucrative business. Everywhere else across the world, people travel and bring ideas, small to big, from place to place, market them and make good money out of it.

And before you fret into despair thinking ideas are simply not enough for you to set up a business and make money, here's another piece of good news. Firms are now sprouting everywhere to 'buy ideas' from people. You think of something, you present and send it to them. They like it, they will buy it (for US$20,000) and even give you a fraction of the profits when they market it. Big firms and brands run out of ideas too, and they can easily tap on their easiest resource - their loyal fan base. You know it - you've heard of the countless "Design your own _____ and we will make and sell" campaigns everywhere.

And guess what, this whole fusion of ideas and marketing and business strategies is going to come very useful and relevant in the near future. The economy can't be running at its tip top condition for too long and its already beginning to show signs of slowdown in terms of local exports and investment. In a period of an economic bear, entrepreneurship is sure to rise again and those who could fuse both will rise to success.

Well, come to think of it, this unknown publications salesman did his job well, more than his job in fact. He made me think, and I have a thing for people who make me think further into things. So here am I - $275 poorer with The Economist added to my belt of weekly magazines to keep me sane through NS.

2008-06-16T18:40:00.002+08:00

The rest of the NSFs from the April intake will hate me for saying this - but I really felt my 1 and a half week break was completely necessary. Who could have missed out on all the catching up, ice-cream-ing at B&J's and all the almost-forgotten frivolous moments?

Indeed, we have all grown up. Apart from the more outrageous, direct and sexual "adult" topics that are taking over our conversations, the reality is far from surreal. In a few weeks time, the girls I once knew as girls per se are already becoming undergraduates by their own right, stepping into their next exciting phase of their life in university. All Singaporean males I know in my batch have already enlisted and passed out from their BMT. Half of 2008 is already gone, did you realise?

My mum told me a few days ago that she felt especially proud of me this year - to have accomplished quite many things, in her opinion. However, personally I did not feel any special sense of accomplishment or pride. I'm sure the feeling was greater back when I was in JC, for example, in Xiamen in 2006. Well, she wasn't wrong to come to such a conclusion. But to me, I felt it was expected of my age. I am 18 going on 19. Next year is officially my last teenage year, whether I like it or not. Just today in camp, I came across a database category in Wikipedia that reads: 1989 births. And to my surprise, there were exactly 1,467 names recorded there. These people did something significant enough by the age of 18/19 to get themselves on Wikipedia. It made me wonder, expectations are really changing. If you wanted to be someone outstanding, 1467 people are already ahead in the race! And that's not counting those that are born after 1989!

Then it dawned on me - what really made me happy and accomplished was not being part of those 1467, it was not being part of them but still managing to struggle a success out of this game of life. This feat, though small in the eyes of others, is big to your loved ones, your parents, your siblings, your relatives and friends. Sharing and creating this joy to them is priceless. And by that I do not mean we should have low expectations and be contented with who we are, but on the contrary, we are doing great things - finding simple joy and love in the smallest things. I'm sure not everyone can do that.

I always hated the idea of discussing about the army or my experiences in there with my curious relatives. But this weekend changed all that. I am more than willing to share now, as it still shows my standing in the family, my relatives' interest in me, and how proud they are on top of everything else. The unforgettable laughters at my dining table yesterday night proved it was worth it.

2008-06-05T23:25:00.003+08:00

As you know, I am on leave this whole week and what did I do? Resorted to borrowing DVDs from the Bishan video rental shop. I watched a total of 6 DVDs and 1 movie online in the past 4 days. And I do have something to say about each one.

The Queen.
An epic story on Queen Elizabeth II dealing with the news of Princess Diana's death in the car crash. Filled with a massive amount of politics, public-relations skills, and simply, the controversial superannuated Royal Institution. But it did prove a point - political leaders in this coming age are more of the 'personality' than the 'brains'. Without their personal assistants, advisors and aids, they are seriously nothing much. Helen Mirren acted well, I must say, no wonder she garnered all those awards. During the show, my mum kept going, "oh...so it was him (Prince Philip) who was the 'evil' one..". I guessed the show did serve its purpose, of shedding some light on why the situation was so sticky with regards to the Royal Family, and perhaps it was portrayed accurately to a large extent that HRH herself invited Mirren to tea.

Michael Clayton.
This is a legal tussle which shows the darker sides of human nature - lies, deceit and power in the wrong hands. Such seemingly boring themes may be far too common in today's movies, but Michael Clayton's pushed it a little further. Perhaps its my obsession with George Clooney's casting, but he handled something so traumatising and mind-boggling with such great composure and subtlety that it shook me. I must admit though, that at certain points during the film, I had to pause and go onto wikipedia to find out what's going on, or rather find out some background information to further understand why things are behaving the way they are. But I love such movies, movies which motivate you to go further to question, to research. I think such movies are powerful, they utilise your brains and make you come to a decision, a conclusion about a theme. Sometimes, people get too caught up with power, that ironically, their intelligence that got them in that position in the first place, becomes diminished.

The Legend of the Water Horse.
The story begins with a elderly man narrating the entire anecdote of how a young boy picked up this egg and it eventually hatched into the 'water horse'. Behind this childish theme, I felt there's something more to the boy. He felt out of place and sync, and why? His father, the only one he was close to, left for a 'war' and never came back. Growing up without his father was one thing, but growing up losing his father at such a tender age was another. All he wanted was to find a friend, someone to share his joys and pains - and that's when the 'water horse' comes to play. The story ends with the elderly man introducing himself as the young boy - the main character of the story.

Evangelion: 1.0 You are (not) alone.
Cool show. This show, though attractively portrayed with all the cutting edge graphics and action scenes between the evas fighting, came through to me with a deeper meaning too. Similar to 'water horse', it has got to do with a young son's relationship with his father. He overcame his mental and physical barriers to pilot an eva and put the entire responsibility of 'saving the world' on his shoulders with only one aim - to show his dad he can do it, to let his dad be proud of him, to listen to his dad's words of encouragement. Sometimes, as children, we do many things off-tangent, on the surface seemingly hurting the ones around us and to spite our parents, but at the end of the day, all we want is a word of thanks, a word of gratitude or encouragement and acknowledgement. Everyone, no matter how big the role they play in the society, has someone like that, behind the scenes - for they want to do whatever they are doing for them.

Appleseed.
Just like Evangelion, this is an animated movie. Though I must admit that the graphics here are much better than the former. What I remembered about this movie, surprisingly, wasn't actually the movie per se, but the bonus DVD that came with it, containing a documentary on the fusion between the Japanese and American culture and how anime played a huge role in it. It was really educational and it's definitely research-standard for those doing a arts paper in this genre. It analyses the similarities and differences between the mindsets of the Japanese and Americans and how they are portrayed interestingly in animation that combined these 2 genres. Surely, there's something just more than the cool factor for potential Prime Minister candidate Taro Aso to view anime as the main driving factor for Japanese diplomacy.

Flood.
A geo-engineering favourite, Flood is about the flooding of River Thames and how even the Thames Barrier was washed away, literally. Engineering marvels like the Thames Barrier was once a popular theme for block-buster movies to 'destroy'. But now, with the Earth going haywire and all, these colourful and far-fetched imagination from Hollywood script-writers may indeed be a reality not too far from now. Anyway, I must admit I can't get enough of big cities being washed away by Nature. I spent 1 entire hour combing the video shop on my third visit this week to look for more of such 'geographical documentaries/movies' but I just couldn't find anything. Either that or the shows were too old which used obsolete and slapstick models and technology which make me cringe. Yes, I'm a technology slut. I know.

2008-05-31T22:58:00.003+08:00

Well well well... just in case you were wondering what in the world was that essay about - it was just a brainchild of my extreme boredom in my camp. Trust me, I even came up with random poems and compositions. I had to keep sane, and more importantly, slightly intellectual, remember?

Gosh, I really think my brain is rotting away if not for those projects/admin I'm tasked to do in camp. So much so I'm desperate enough to ask Ham2 to allocate some academic research for me to do. Haha..

I watched Sex and the City with the triplets yesterday and I must say it was phenomenal. For us at least. Through all the crazy laughter at the most inappropriate moments, we were excited enough to even start planning a vacation for ourselves at some island resort - a desperate bid to re-enact the show's Mexican 'honeymoon'. Of course Ricky will play Charlotte, the ever-picky on third world countries' hygiene slut. One conclusion - I need to watch it again. LOL.

Other than that, my life has been back to the boring and economically unproductive days. As an economics enthusiast, I find myself falling into the very guilty pit of not doing anything productive for the economy, at least for now. My biggest challenge - find something to occupy me sufficiently for the next week, when I'm going to be on leave till the 10 of June.

2008-05-29T20:27:00.006+08:00

Colours - Rainbow in the night

Purple. It was a stunning car. I would have bought it if I had the cash. Maybe when I grow up and earn enough money. My wife and kids would love it, I'm sure. Then the outrageous crashing sound came through and I was lying there, knowing it was all but a dream.

Black. That was all I saw after that very proud and royal purple. My world was in darkness. To my left and right was all but black, and more black. It was as if the tar had engulfed me and swallowed me into the roads of hell. I heard sirens, shouts, cries. I thought of the movie I just watched over the weekend. The chaos seemed so familiar.

Red. It began to feel a little wet. It wasn't raining I'm sure, but my clothes are getting drenched. The source seems to be from my head. My hair was in a total mess. Soon, I was flooded in a pool I can't swim out from. It was terrible.

White. The sirens were gone. Chaos was still present, but it felt different, as if in an enclosed environment now, a building possibly. Figures in white started to rush and hover around me. Some were in a face of panic, others just looked resigned. Then, it dawned on me they were doctors and nurses. Yes, now I'm sure, the smell was unmistakable, it was definitely the hospital. Am I dying?

Yellow. I was blinded. My eyes were writhing in pain! The bright yellow lights above me pierced through my pupils as if they wanted to dig something out from behind. Then I saw those knifes. They were going to cut me open, I swear. I was screaming inside, but I was completely helpless, I could not get up to stop them, and to turn those lights off!

Brown. It must have been at least a quarter of the day. I was completely drained. I couldn't be bothered anymore. Either way, I did not have the energy. It seemed like the operation's over. My mum came to visit. I couldn't see her clearly, but I knew it was her. Her brown hair flowed over my face, caressing me gently. I fell into a deep slumber.

Pink. It had been 2 weeks. It felt like forever. I didn't feel very much different, honestly. But I knew I was recovering. I thrilled at the thought of going back to school, hanging out with my best friends. I was slowly but surely edging into the pink of health. I know it, or at least I think I am.

Green. My parents' heavy footsteps woke me up. I couldn't see too clearly too. It must have been the sleeping all these while, making me feel so groggy. They seemed to be in a tense discussion with the doctor. I see my parents signing a green document. I think I might be discharged soon. The nurses are already unplugging the tubes from my body. I am going to be free again!

Orange. My relatives had all gathered with me to see how I was doing. I, too, had been eager to know how every one's doing. Unfortunately, they all seemed to be depressed. I wonder why. When I'm fully recovered I am going to make them happy again, I promise. They brought me into this room. It was hot! I felt like I was burning. Then I saw those fiery orange flames! It was unstoppable! I thought I had melted, but it wasn't painful at all. I really wonder why. I started to shrink...soon everything else grew many times in magnitude around me. I was dwarfed.

Blue. It was bumpy ride. I felt claustrophobic and nauseated. It was as if I was trapped in a tiny jar. I tried to get out, but to no avail. Then all of a sudden, the bumping stopped. I could smell the blue sea, it had been a long time since I had been to the beach. It felt so cool and relaxing, unlike before. I could faintly hear my sister tearing. Was it because she didn't get her toy she wanted again? I will buy it for her next time when I have the chance. The blue sky above me lit up, and the wind picked me up on my feet. It was exhilarating. I was flying just in between the two blue universes. I am free, forever.

(c) CHOK 2008

2008-05-26T18:38:00.002+08:00

It is nearing the end of May, and the welcoming of June. That is scary, scarily fast. Post-JC life felt like it just crept in slowly and I'm probably still at the early stages of getting used to it. That was the last I remembered of myself feeling and being aware. Now I'm in NS, those BMT peeps are POP-ing in a matter of days, and I'm about to get my 2nd month NS pay.

Why are things going so fast? Somehow, I looked back and still could recall those days in JC and in choir in great detail like they just happened yesterday. However, in the process, it does slowly dawn on me that many things (and when I mean many, IT IS REALLY ALOT) have actually happened for the past 5 months. I got a nice job with nice colleagues, worked for almost 4 months, saw my bank account in constant 4-digits, flew to Italy and back, got thrown into the forests of Tekong bald, got accepted into NUS Law Faculty, and now having an 8-5 Auxillary Staff job at Ayer Rajah.

If this wasn't eventful, I wonder what is.

Point being, where was I this whole 5 months? Were I even around? It would have been laughable to describe this as a out-of-body experience but somehow that feeling still lingers. I am able to feel happiness, sadness, love and hate. But I found myself losing something important, perhaps a purpose, a goal. Thinking back at what Shoshi said back then about having a purpose, my ideals are now blurred. What is it that I really want?

Even this post seems to go no where. That is true. From now on, I am on a journey to find myself. To find back that me that I always were. As cliche and as cheesy as that may sound, it brings back things to look forward to, friends I really want to be with, things I really want to do, and a heart that belongs.

Everyone lead very different lives with even more different short-term goals. Perhaps sometimes it would be right to just transcend all these and go back to the very beginning - what made you happy, and what will?

As such, my first step - taking leave for the whole of next week till the following monday when my TP test is over - to revisit the past to find my future.

2008-05-19T00:54:00.002+08:00

woosh.

All of a sudden, its over! AJchoir has ended tonight with a big bang, literally, with the closing of the VoyAJe 2008: Notes on a Road annual concert at Esplanade. I am really heartened and pleased to see all my juniors and new faces all sharing the same joy in singing and performing. It was indeed a truly magical night I would hold dear for at least months to come. Haha...

This concert was not only a memorable one as I performed with the main choir even though I've graduated, it was also an important milestone for the AJC Alumni choir. After our short performance of Red Red Rose and Double Double Toil and Trouble, Kwei actually said we should consider going for a competition in Asia. Like seriously?! I think people like CheeGuan have been waiting so long for this day..haha. Well done.

Next, thanks to those who came to support us. AJ 06/07 batch. I love you guys many forever!! Thanks for all the cheering and support you guys gave! To Nigel and Ricky, thanks for coming and thanks so much for the "GO MOTHER CHOK!" thingy. It was so embarrassing! hahaha... But anyways, at least you guys enjoyed yourself. Thats the thing us performers really wanna hear after all the practising and stuff.

To the juniors of AJ choir. I really loved your performance for the 2nd half and I really would want either a video or a recording because I just cannot get enough of it. Like seriously. Congrats on having completed this project successfully. More bigger things are in your way, on the road. No Importa la Distancia.

On a personal note, strangely, I did not feel a single bit nervous at all this performance. It could be attributed to the fact I've performed many many times on esplanade already, but still, something in me just couldnt switch on. I dunno if thats a good thing anot. But I felt really comfortable on stage...it was like I was at home. Congrats, mebbe I have just reached a new level of shamlessness hahaha. Oh well..

Now.. what should I look forward to?

2008-05-16T22:51:00.002+08:00

No. 61

Memoirs of clouds and rivers,
winds and hills.
It's been a good old sixty-one years,
or perhaps, nights.
Of journey and voyages with a scripted twist,
love's lost, all but a feather's chase.
So now, miles away from the scene of truth,
lies and deception seemed blatant.
What good does it give to give and take,
for all is but a certain paint.
What you see is not what you get,
for it is this that we are real.
From parallel worlds to connected moons,
you think and feel just like that.
Now, for all we know, past has done,
for gravity we know has brought you down.
Across the notes and pads on roads,
we see a light in the endless goth.

2008-05-14T23:00:00.002+08:00

Its 11PM on my clock. Long time since I was awake at this time.

Been posted out from BMTC Tekong to Ayer Rajah Camp as an Arms Tech. Well but its temporary anyway. Not sure how the rest of my NS life will turn out to be but I'm just hoping if I get to stay at OETI I can do a spec course.

Sadly, the 'power of three whom set you free' has now been officially split to 3 different camps. I think we totally rocked though. We rocked so much Tekong shook with our presence. Im serious. Been really looking forward to meeting you guys again, especially the stayovers we promised.

So yeah, whats up next? Well, there's the AJchoir concert @ esplanade coming this sunday. Excited for it, and I heard things have been going really well so there's not much cause for worry this time. I will be performing with the main choir for the first half, with the alumni for the 1st segment of the 2nd half, and of course, not forgetting the last encore song No Importa. I really wonder what it means to sing No Importa now, at this very moment of time..

Anyhoos, life's been back to arranging small but exciting activities and watching anime on youtube. Starting new jap and piano classes soon too. Plus my driving test is coming up soon again. Thank god the unit's a stay-out.

Well yeah, of parallel universes and unchained melodies, till time permits and the game's done. Look for me, for its now my turn.

2008-04-26T21:57:00.002+08:00

2 weeks have passed.

I'm still alive. Welcome home choky.

In everything bad, something good will happen. In every bliss, some bad is bound to happen. I will stand by this philosophy ever so strong for life.

It was an honest test. One necessary and unavoidable. My answers to the questions are now a clear YES. I can see a future.

The promise, has been kept, and will always be.

Keep the faith and believe, this wasn't easy to find.

2008-04-09T20:45:00.002+08:00

2 weeks. 14 days. 336 hours.

Not too long, not too short either.

Ham, Ton, Jam, Dum please stay well and healthy and take real good care of each other like family. =)

Whatever happens, I'll keep my promise.

2008-03-27T23:26:00.003+08:00

Ajchoir.
No importa la distancia.
Sing. Feel. Love.

10th Concorso Corale Internazionale 2008
13-25 March 2008
Riva del Garda, Italy

25.36 points
Golden Diploma level 5
Category Winner (Mixed Youth with Age Limit 16-25)
Audience Prize (Public prize)
Grand Prix (Grand Champion)
Conductor's Prize

These are the memories we share, materialised.

Don't ask me how it happened, for it just happened.

=)

2008-02-22T16:03:00.002+08:00

Many things in this world are just strange. Sometimes things make a huge roundabout before returning to where they are supposed to be. Nevertheless, this intricate process of time is of all necessity. Fate once again has had its ways, and things you thought you lost return to you; things you thought you had perhaps were never there.

Interest can be lost, interest can be gained. My family has been tackled lately by this seemingly mind-boggling issue of what CCA my brother should stick with. And from what I see, it take many hands to clap here and things aren't settling down anytime soon.

On the other end of my life, I'm having a lot of fun in my progression in driving as well as tonking on my new love (the keyboard resting beside my bed).

This is the period of time I term a "bi-polar switch" in my life. My focus, commitment and passion takes a major turn to choir once again. That's a comfortable window before the competition in 3 weeks. Anyhoos, any room for improvement and less-than-perfect singing is definitely welcomed, for when things are too good they tend to take a down turn shortly after peaking.

Happy birthday to Jasmine and Roger too! xD

2008-02-13T23:44:00.002+08:00

Today's all black.. I don't mean my mood or the sky, but the color of my clothes. Believe it or not, my family's fengshui master says my lucky colors for this year are black and blue. Damn boring, but oh well. Never really wore all black before, except for performances, but hell, its hot (as in temperature hot).

Went to Central to meet Thomas, Jerold and Roy and couldn't believe why a person like me haven't been to Central at all.. The whole place reeks of Jap - jap restaurants, jap supermarkets, jap concept store. Gosh, must make this my new hangout. Lunch next week definitely gonna be here. Anyhoo, ate lunch at Pasta de Waraku (looking at the plates outside already made it appetizing), definitely coming back to try the prawn thingy Jerold ordered.

Its been a long time since I kept in touch with the drama peeps, felt really good today stepping back into Cat High and its memory-filled auditorium. They had this new trainer called Engie, who's really fun; hoped the sec 1s had fun in their first take at acting. Not sure if I could still act like before, but I must say I'm really tempted by the big stage xD. Other random events that happened is that everyone claimed this guy called Yeung Kai is my incarnate; I don't quite understand or see how he looks like me though, but I will try to go back again to see why they think so. Oh and Thomas could bake nice cookies, (oh gosh, am I the only one who doesn't know how to?) haha..

Choir-ed later on, not a bad practice too, with all the lou-hei-ing happening and bringing Kwei bad luck for the sale of his property haha... Did all the 6 songs with satisfactory achievements, but still a long way to go. And honestly, thats what I like, it means we are going to improve and seeing that improvement will spur everyone and motivate everyone to do miracles once again. Hope everything turns out well. =D

Oh gosh, been spending too much, card bill came just now and I spent a total of almost 500 bucks just in January. And worse, thats just the Mastercard bill, haven't count in Nets or cash withdrawals. =x Was really tempted to buy a Canon IXUS 860IS but now decided should just get the N82, since it has a 5 mega-pix cam and thats sufficient, plus I'm really sick of my trade-in price dropping exponentially. I'm not a camera person to begin with, just likes to cam-whore xD. So yeah, this settles it. (Opps and I bought a new watch today =x)

Happy birthday to mankind and to Eugene of course haha. Tomorrow's the ultra-commercialised VDAY! Not that I have anything to look forward to other than my singletons outing!! haha...

2008-02-09T23:10:00.000+08:00

Development. Progress. Time. 3 words that probably summed up the 'thing' in everything per se. 3 things we cannot escape no matter what our decisions and resolutions are.

Witnessing the connection gave me a strange feeling, no doubt. Through fatigue and all, it seemed to give some strength and dexterity to go on, but strangely, this very same strength seemed to be sucked out dry slowly and unadmittedly painfully from those around. But not doubt, lessons and conclusions can be once again gleamed from an unusual and interesting custom.

CNY is indeed unusual to me, because obviously, it does not happen every other day. It comes and go with great anticipation to differing individuals at different times of their lives. This CNY felt different for me, almost completely different. Other than the fact that too many things have happened in between for me to half-forget what happened last CNY, many other first-times have been achieved this year. Experiences of firsts, feelings of firsts, speeches of firsts, and beliefs of firsts.

I shall not go into a detailed personal account of how I celebrated mine, but I know I could almost call this year a mahjong-filled one! Honestly, I'm knocked out and have long forgotten the purpose of this post. May I now sincerely wish all a happy lunar new year blessed with good health, luck and prosperity!

And... it still amazes me how Murakami's books depict sex in such stunning casualness.

Perhaps its the conflict of interest among mankind, thats the most stunning and intriguing once again.

2008-02-05T01:09:00.000+08:00

It's been a hectic weekend with lots of changes to Italy flight arrangements. Seriously, I'm getting a sore throat from all that explanation to the rest of the seniors. I really wonder how the teachers do it everyday. Lol.

Now that Kwei officially intensified practices and started to show signs of frustrations and worry, we can tell it is once again the time for a competition. One that will not only bond everyone under the fury of the man, but will ease their souls with the sense of accomplishments at the end of the journey. It is really interesting to me, I mean, I signed up for Italy because I wanted to experience that 'trauma' of getting ready for a competition all over again. But since graduating, that feeling might have been a little too complacent and now we seem to comfortable and take many things for granted. Now that Kwei's showing the eye, it ironically calms me, gives me a sense of nostalgia that all these were my exact past, my history, my memories.

It is that renewed feeling of love for song that we all need. Watching an ambitious choir on Arts Central might be one thing, feeling it in your own choir, your own song is another. We need that spark, and we have approximately 4 weeks to search for it. May it be found, and may the exponential progress begin, or the frowns and tears will soon be abound.

2008-02-01T10:34:00.000+08:00

For starters, I am really not used to my frequency of blogging this week. But since I have something to say, why not?

Anyway, things have definitely turned for the better, and once again this proved my wait and patience, coupled by my optimism, has led me to somewhere at least. No doubt someone told me I might go crazy before anything, but oh well. It didn't. Either that, or I am already crazy as it is. But still, I am really relieved that Yuhuai can go to Italy now. Neither party would be really happy if thats not the case.

It was a nice good general feelings, with good things and things to look forward to sprouting from almost every corner. Things, as I might say, have turned refreshing. Whoever will ever think that the silly crazed bunch of us, most often known to only go online to book movie tickets, would know be dabbling in the world of aviation. Yeah..and I'm talking about air tickets to Europe and back costing by the thousands. Refreshing development.

Even the senior group who wants to extend is expanding. But I'm seriously still quite worried for them. As in their safety. I've travelled to Europe before, but I know no other place is as dangerous and unpredictable as Italy. Especially the period of time we are going - in the middle of Good Friday and Easter Sunday - all the more makes it a really complicated senario here.

Now I have 3 plans. Plan A: book my own air ticket on SQ from SIN to MILAN using Krisflyer miles and come back with the main group flying Emirates. Plan B: book my own air ticket on SQ both from SIN to MILAN and back from ROME to SIN. All using Krisflyer miles too. Plan C: Stick to the orginal plan the school had for us. Everything remains status quo. Subject to changes on the school and agent's side.

CNY is coming, and suddenly there are many things to do..unfinished businesses maybe. Apart from the notion of getting angbows and money, I'm pretty sure CNY was meant as a festival of reunion for people too. That brings me back to a point I've been procrastinating for the past few weeks - I have not bought my new year clothes, or at least in everything I've bought recently, red doesn't take a place. Next, I'm pretty excited to know that this year I will be meeting my old friends, whether they are already enlisted in the army or not, there will be a reunion for everyone to come together. Even the meeting of teachers inclusive.

CNY is another New Year to me, perhaps even more meaningful and impactful than the real new year that hit all mankind on the 1st of Jan. For one, I was nuah-ing away on New Year due to a lack of parties but now I'm really looking forward to the festivities of CNY. It will really be a new start for me as an grand, really red entrance into 2008. That is perhaps the reason why I really respect this festival. I believe whatever it is, things will only show a change, a solid one, after CNY. Perhaps it is my traditional and superstitious me shouting out again. But sometimes, it is indeed better to believe it than not.

Hahah.. I was just reading my old blog entries since 2005. I cannot believe I wrote them. i guess thats the most amazing part about growing part, doing silly things you never knew you did. Really, but I can't blame my past self for that, for at that time and place I was truly happy, feeling that way and being just plain content. It was truly me wherever I am. And I'm thankful for that. Not everyone can be themselves at any given time or place.

I cannot believe it is already Feb 2008. Time is passing much faster than I thought when I'm working. Incredible. Come on, rock me on. Embrace!

2008-01-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

it isnt bothering me as much alr. thank god for today, being busy rly helps.

was talking to a jnr jus now. and wow. it rly brings back alot alot of memories. i nvr knew i still rmbed them haha. suddenly i realised the batch im close to: the one which graduated in 2007 ( 2 yrs younger) also left cat high and missing it alr. damn. time rly passes rly quickly. now reminiscing abt cat high also not much use since its only the tcher, school building, name and culture tt puts things to perspectives, and not the ppl. not them anymore. haha...

still rmb the times in sec 3.. had to do those silly things. like promoting and selling ch jive. LOL. hmm. suddenly feel like visiting all those tchers again. =D well. CNY's a rly good time. i have to do something this yr. or at least im rly up in the mood rite now. thinking abt ch jive brings back memories abt my jnr class which i mentored back in 2004. sec 1-2. tts where i gt to know most of my close jnrs till today. and the best part is tt the jnr i was toking to was frm tt class! its like the reunion of 2 old frens which met long ago. even though we rly just met and anw he's leaving for another sch (not aj) alr hahha. so well. but still. thinking abt 1-2 reminds me of drama. the good old drama days. thinking abt ch jive reminded me of council too. hha. though i joined late. but it still had a strong impression in me... plus the tchers in charge. i wonder how mr toh is doing now in china. and i still wonder if that good old mr chen jie jue lao shi still rmbed our yue ding 10 yrs later frm 2003 (which is 2013), not too long frm now. haha.

as for drama, wad i rly feel is a lil of guilt and pity. somehow after we left all of us gt too busy with our lives and preoccupied with other things.. we no longer had the time nor commitment to go back anymore. i think its the biggest regret of my jc life. other than tt. i'd love to say everything else had to happen for a reason or another, and thus no other regrets..

its kinda late now to reminisce abt everything. in apr, im gonna join the ranks of all other 18 yr old males in singapore to serve the nation. it seems kinda bland, kinda uninteresting, compared to the so much more colorful and dramatic life i've been living all along. but oh well, since its a new life, why not embrace it with all optimism. i guess tts wad makes me me.

u noe things have rly kinda changed when i rly start blogging on a regular basis again. haha +)

i rly miss cat high. once again. it nvr ends.

2008-01-29T19:56:00.000+08:00

an unexpected happening? or rather, i should say, something within my range of expectations. if u wud believe me i'd told u i had a imagery of something else even more developmental. no doubt this is just the beginning. am i taking things too seriously? im having trouble breathing again..

gradually things that are important to me are no longer in my constant line of thought. who are you? who am i? what am i doing everyday? why am i doing all this? for what? it takes more than a me alone to answer all these questions. i want change, i need change, yet im unwilling to change, i mind change.

now, i dont even want to think abt the close future.

2008-01-28T20:40:00.000+08:00

im must admit. im feeling quite terribly disappointed. but i cannot blame them also. either way, it just means we'll have to make the best outta whatever we have. fret what? we started with nothing anyway..i know i'll take it easy. definitely, not like i'm unable to live with it. but my perfectionistic nature is shouting the hell out. but its thru such imperfections that we find perfection. like how hearts grow fonder as they are away. let there be the abundance of hope.

anw, main pt here. I'VE JUST WATCHED A MAGNIFICENT ARTS CENTRAL PROG. its abt a UK choral master called gareth trying to form a choir out of scratch from a UK high school to compete in the xiamen choir olympics. and the process which they struggled...it was amazing. they struggled so much to finally record a CD to be sent to china to see if they qualify. and they did this 9 months b4. all the way in 2005 end of yr. omg.

i was speechless. what's happening on screen and to my life has SO MUCH in common and yet SO MUCH in difference. we share the same love for singing and music, but we live in polar opposites in stunningly differing cultures! they had to struggle to get thru the qualifying round..it was such hope and faith in the kid's eyes and soul that made it all worth it. we struggled too, and we got the champion. suddenly, it seems we got the champion quite easily, just like that. even though we did struggle, abeit a different one. it makes me feel so lucky to be me, to be where i am. it was a classic example of the chinese saying 'shen zai fu zhong bu zhi fu'..

pls. can we share such love, hope, faith and song once again?

2008-01-25T19:38:00.000+08:00

living in an anime..

indeed. in a twist of events, things which i nvr prepared for are thrown into my face. whilst thats how the 'world goes round', it certainly would be a lie to say i feel undisturbed by recent events.

dont assume. coz you'll make a 'ass' outta 'u' and 'me'. wahaha. trust me. im calm.

2008-01-15T14:22:00.000+08:00

right. cant believe im actually blogging now. this time i hope its not only for the archives though =x

anw, it has been almost 1 and a half months since i last blogged. and between this period? was there anything worth blogging about? haha im not too sure. it was kinda good that i instructed my whole family (and they really did obey me) to forget and not mention anything about my bday since it was in the middle of a lvls. but well. i say it was kinda good coz i completely forgot about ever rly turning 18 and still stuck thinking im living that sexy seventeen.. until aggie's bday came and left. lol.

what else happened? yes it has been a wonderfully long festive period for as long as i could rmb. after a's it was kinda festive. then came the many PHs incl xmas and new yr.. it was also most remembered as the period where i spent most money. and i still owe ppl xmas gifts. i dont think it will ever end haha. new yr was kind of boring for me though, perhaps i always have this tendency to get into moods of things and events far too early or much later after the event.. haha.

now here i am blogging, also in the 3rd month of my job. haha. all the money earned will just go to riding those gondolas over in italy. but somehow im excited. very excited. like i said of my bad habit, it wasnt long back when i realised its 2008 already and started being all excited about it. in fact if i didnt rmb wrongly, it was only last week. ahha. two thirds of my guy frens have already entered the army, or rather thats how i perceived it to be since there are 3 main grps of enlistment. soon in april it will be my turn.. and am i scared? actually no. am i excited? no too. it just seems like a different life and im in the middle of apprehension and also apathy. yeah right now i dont rly care nor think much abt it. wanna enjoy first.

but then again i shud also realise there is something else coming up tt is equally life-changing as NS. that is our a lvl results. heard this yr is gonna be earlier (obviously). so i guess tt shud be thing im looking forward/scared abt haha. nt rly sure wad to feel. i bet i'd only feel it on tt day itself in the hall =x

time passes so quickly its almost unbelievable that those jnrs in secondary 2 i knew back then who nvr ever seem to grow up are now in jc. and my jnrs in choir are now preparing for a lvls at the end of this yr.. more importantly, i've come to realise that im no longer a student, wearing those uniforms and hanging out after school galliavanting in j8 or god knows where. i kinda miss that. wait. i rly do. and im sure many wud agree with me. it was kinda strange nt gg to school on the 2nd of jan, and it was even stranger seeing everyone in sch uniforms in places we still hang out, only realising we r definitely older than them now.

time passes so quickly my lil bro is now in sec sch. maybe thats why memories of my own sec sch started pouring in quickly into my overused mind for nonsense haha. even to the point where it clouds and overshadows my memories in jc. what path/road he takes in sec sch is pretty gonna make him 75% of who he is in future. and it seems its rly time for everyone to grow up. i wonder what wud it be like, not only for me, for my family and all, when i turn 21, in 2010. i wonder..

anyway, i've said so much i cant label my post-a-lvls as boring anymore. just yesterday i had the chance to step into the staff rm of aj. haha. always tot ex students arent allowed since cat high had that rule. little thrills still amazes me. hhaha

oh and anyway, apart from all the facebooking and random outings, welcome to the AAA: Amoeba-Anemone-Anonymous - for individuals whom are unafraid.

oh well. i cud very well be living in an anime. hah

2007-12-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

well well well

things definitely have changed since A lvls came and went. for one, i suddenly missed studying for As. i mean.. its not something ppl do all the time you know. haha. all the cramming and the late nights. all for that one main common goal. it was an amazing physical and mental journey for most.

now that As are far and over, everyone's back to the busy bee life again of course. haha. for one shopping for prom, gg back for choir practices, finding jobs or even starting work. for me, i've celebrated my 18th birthday, and did many firsts this time round. i've coloured my hair, started driving lessons and started on a full time job. there will be many for firsts to come, im sure, especially when army starts and all.

for now, im really missing singing with the choir once again, cramming for all those competition pieces and having those late night phone convo and gossips. they sure are rampant during the holidays when people go wild. hahah.

would be flying to japan on monday, coming back only at the end of the week. i guess its really timely as i've just watched HERO this morning and im really craving for japan right now! haha. besides i've finally bought my own winter wear and i cant wait to wear it. only thing..when i come back the headache will start again on what to wear for prom haha. well let me enjoy my japanese getaway first.

italy.. now this is what most "seniors" like me are aiming for. another common goal. i guess thats how we are so close in minds and souls.

2007-11-18T13:24:00.000+08:00

Gone are the days where we'll rush to the Macs near the school by 9am,
and rush back by noon to get a place outside LT1...
But between the busy days we had and the more than intellectual discussions we did,
this interesting poem composed by an unknown author never fails to catch my attention.

"If I die don't bring my body back,
from the fields of exams stained black
with the ink of countless martyrs,
singing 'this is how we spent twelve years'."

Take time to enjoy the small joys in life. You have earned it and deserve it.

2007-11-10T20:08:00.000+08:00

今日、
彼の男の子は叫んだ。
"性交!"
はそれは彼の中心で記
憶を深くエコーし、
動物園のイメージは
彼の肘の下で流れる泡と持って
来られた彼の破損は彼の中心を歌
った後続いたすぐに、
彼は再度機能すること
すべてに準備ができた
すべてに準備ができたされ。

2007-10-13T22:44:00.000+08:00

oh yes you guessed right! this is another of the dummy posts for the sake of archiving the month of october. no more chance to blog all the way til late nov alr! see ya then!

oh and anw.. i dont believe in farewells! keep in touch everyone. and i know we will!

2007-09-24T19:47:00.000+08:00

The efforts to save the environment are doomed. Discuss.

The efforts to save the environment are definitely not doomed. Throughout time, humans have been able to solve all problems and there is no reason why we cannot tackle this problem. In solving all global issues, as Bill Gates put it, need to proceed with a three-pronged approach; requiring technology to recognize the problem, leaders ringing the alarm bell, and people joining in the cause. We are seeing progress in these three steps – in fact, efforts seen today are stronger than ever, and there are many reasons for this optimism.

New technology allows us to understand the world that we are living in better. It also strengthens our ability to mitigate and prevent further damages. Science and research centers to tackle issues regarding environmental damage sprung up more in the last few years than ever in history. Humans always fear what we do not know – and these new technology has helped us to tackle this problem. Even though majority of research is still debatable and inconclusive, new solutions and strategies are emerging everyday and this concerted effort in itself can be considered a progress. A successful example that most people forgot is the patching up of the hole in the ozone layer during the last decade. Scientists, through their research and findings, raised the alarm bell citing the problem and came up with probable causes – one of which is still widely believed to be the excessive emission of chlorofluorocarbon into the atmosphere. This led to global leaders taking the initiative to hold conferences for solutions, finally which was settled on the birth of the Montreal Protocol, an agreement to cut production containing CFC and ban consumer products like aerosol spray cans. The ozone hole was in fact quickly closed up, protecting mankind from the harmful effects if the excessive ultraviolet rays from the sun, and more importantly, marking a milestone in the history of science and technology that it indeed can be seen as a beacon of hope in saving mankind in the future. This brings us an important lesson: that nothing is too big for mankind to handle and we in fact have the capability to re-do and prevent further damages to the environment.

The new batch of leaders today is also far more acutely aware of global environment crisis and more likely to progress in this area as compared to their predecessors. In fact, many politicians around the world pledge to make saving the environment a priority. This new wave of influence and power from the leaders are already sparking efforts around the globe and we are seeing changes for the better. Needless to say, solving a global issue requires people to start believing in the existence of the problem, and the countless articles on environmental problems we see in the newspapers are evidence of such belief. Leaders ultimately play a huge role in global affairs and setting the direction for the world. Just a few months back, America’s president George W Bush initiated discussions with global leaders citing the issue of environmental degradation and climate change. This was seen as a big step for America as their leaders are now relenting and seeing the urgent need to do something to save the environment despite standing firm on previous refusals to join the Kyoto Protocol to cut carbon emissions. In fact, America is not alone. First female chancellor Angela Merkel has also took the lead in Europe and around the world in advocating efforts saving the environment. These solid actions of the new wave of leaders set the tone for future discussions regarding the environment and reiterate the point that it is something to be taken very seriously. Indeed, all problems need leaders to sound the alarm bell, and we are seeing influential people today with a strong belief in saving the environment – a testimony that proves efforts to saving the environment are not doomed.

Armed only with new technology and visionary leaders are not enough in solving this gargantuan problem – the difference lies in the individual. This is because wherever we are, developed or developing countries, we need to realize and accept that pollution stems from us. Efforts, naturally, have to come from us, more than anyone else as well. Success stories, no matter how tiny, are emerging across the globe. We see the effort now filtered down to the individual level, and this is a huge step in solving environmental problems. Hong Kong is a successful example. Today, their clear skies – something Hong-Kongers have not seen in a long time – are a testimony that their efforts did pay off. This is made possible only because individuals had realized the need to solve the pollution problems that are causing many health problems. They had been putting pressure on their local district authorities and government officials to reduce the pollution. In most societies today, governments rule by democracy and listen to the majority of the people. In this case, the combined efforts of individuals who have a strong cause in saving the environment becomes the majority, and governments, whether happy or not, will have to do something about it. Much hope can be drawn from this Hong Kong example, and they are definitely not alone. States and provinces in China, one of the world’s largest polluters, are now twinning up with cities like Hong Kong and Singapore in bid to acquire knowledge to keep their environment clean and green. Whether for economic, social or political reasons, humans are beginning to realize the seriousness of environmental damage, and this gives us much optimism to believe efforts in saving the environment is not a lost cause as yet.

However, I acknowledge that it is natural for pessimists to exist and some might even go to the extent of saying that mankind faces possible extinction. These people are not to be blamed as their argument, along the lines of the accelerating degradation of the environment, is not without truth. However, we can also choose to see this phenomenon in a positive light. If scientists and researchers have found out that our increasing amount of waste and pollution is the main cause for the terrible climate changes plaguing us, then perhaps we found the solution to be problem as well. Yes, extreme weather conditions are now picking up speed across the globe, with many countries seeing their past records of rainfall, number of hurricanes and temperatures being broken in the past year. But all these could turn out to be a blessing in disguise as it could not have been a more obvious wake-up call to those who are still haphazard in their cause for saving the environment.

Indeed, it is undeniable that the effects of global changes and damage are accelerating faster than what scientists had originally predicted, but it is definitely not a reason for us to give up hope based on the existing and continuing efforts we put in. It is by every right of mankind that we fight on and race ahead of our common enemy, proving these pessimists wrong once again. As the saying goes, ‘adversity brings out the best in man’, I could not agree more. Armed with our newfound technology, continued efforts and ‘never-say-die’ spirit, our efforts to save the environment are far from doomed.

2007-08-24T19:49:00.000+08:00

dun bother... this is a fake post to ensure august doesnt go off my archives

2007-07-23T22:17:00.000+08:00

I'll Make You A Rainbow
By Linda Bremner

There is nothing that can truly prepare you to lose your own child. Looking back, I've often thought the doctors should have written a death certificate for me as well as my son, for when he died, a part of me died too.

Andy was almost twelve. For over three years he had been battling cancer. He'd gone through radiation and chemotherapy; he'd gone into remission and out again, not once but several times. I was amazed at his resilience; he just kept getting up each time his cancer knocked him flat.

Perhaps it was his pluckiness and grit that shaped my own attitude about Andy's future, or maybe I was simply afraid to face the possibility of his death; whatever the cause I always thought that Andy would make it. He would be the kid that beat the odds.

For three summers, Andy had gone to a camp for kids with cancer. He loved it and seemed to relish the week he could forget about hospitals and sickness and just be a kid again. The day after he returned from his third camp adventure, we went to the clinic for a routine check-up. The news was bad. The doctor scheduled a bone marrow transplant for two days later in a hospital 300 miles away from our home. The next day we threw our things in a suitcase and left.

One of the things I tossed into my suitcase was the present Andy had brought home from camp for me. A plastic suncatcher shaped like a rainbow with a suction cup to attach it to a window. Like most mothers, I considered any present from my child a treasure and wanted it with me.

We arrived at the hospital and began the grueling ordeal the doctors felt was my son's only chance. We spent seven weeks there. They turned out to be the last seven weeks of Andy's life.

We never talked about dying...except once. Andy was worn out and must have known he was losing ground. He tried to clue me in. Nauseous and weak after one of the many difficult procedures he endured on a regular basis, he turned to me and asked, "Does it hurt to die?"

I was shocked, but answered truthfully, "I don't know. But I don't want to talk about death, because you are not going to die, Andy."

He took my hand and said, "Not yet, but I'm getting very tired."

I knew then what he was telling me, but tried hard to ignore it and keep the awful thought from entering my mind.

I spent a lot of my day watching Andy sleep. Sometimes I went to the gift shop to buy cards and notepaper. I had very little money, barely enough to survive. The nurses knew our situation and turned a blind eye when I slept in Andy's room and ate the extra food we ordered off of Andy's tray. But I always managed to scrape a bit together for the paper and cards because Andy loved getting mail so much.

The bone marrow transplant was a terrible ordeal. Andy couldn't have any visitors because his immune system was so compromised. I could tell that he felt even more isolated than ever. Determined to do something to make it easier for him, I began approaching total strangers in the waiting rooms and asking them, "Would you write my son a card?" I'd explain his situation and offer them a card or some paper to write on. With surprised expressions on their faces, they did it. No one refused me. They took one look at me and saw a mother in pain.

It amazed me that these kind people, who were dealing with their own worries, made the time to write Andy. Some would just sign a card with a little get-well message. Others wrote real letters: "Hi, I'm from Idaho visiting my grandmother here in the hospital..." and they'd fill a page or two with their story, sometimes inviting Andy to visit wherever they were from when he was better. Once a woman flagged me down and said, "You asked me to write your son a couple of weeks ago. Can I write him again?" I mailed all these letters to Andy, and watched happily as he read them. Andy had a steady stream of mail right up until the day he died.

One day, I went to the gift store to buy more cards and saw a rainbow prism for sale. Remembering the rainbow suncatcher Andy'd given me, I felt I had to buy it for him. It was a lot of money to spend, but I handed over the cash and hurried back to Andy's room to show him.
He was lying in his bed, too weak to even raise his head. The blinds were almost shut, but a crack of sunlight poured in slanting across the bed. I put the prism in his hand and said, "Andy, make me a rainbow." But Andy couldn't. He tried to hold his arm up, but it was too much for him.

He turned his face to me and said, "Mom, as soon as I'm better, I'll make you a rainbow you'll never forget."

That was the one of the last things Andy said to me. Just a few hours later, he went to sleep and during the night, slipped into a coma. I stayed with him in the ICU, massaging him, talking to him, reading him his mail, but he never stirred. The only sound was the constant drone and beepings of the life-support machines surrounding his bed. I was looking death straight in the face, but still I thought there'd be a last-minute save, a miracle that would bring my son back to me.

After five days, the doctors told me his brain had stopped functioning and that he'd never be "Andy" again. It was time to disconnect him from the machines that were keeping his body alive.

I asked if I could hold him, so just after dawn, they brought a rocking chair into the room and after I settled myself in the chair, they turned off the machines and lifted him from the bed to place him in my arms. As they raised him from the bed, his leg made an involuntary movement and he knocked a clear plastic pitcher from his bedside table onto the bed.

"Open the blinds," I cried. "I want this room to be full of sunlight!" The nurse hurried to the window to pull the cord.

As she did so, I noticed a suncatcher, in the shape of the rainbow attached to the window, left no doubt, by a previous occupant of this room. I caught my breath in wonder. And then as the sunlight filled the room, the rays hit the pitcher lying on its side on the bed and everyone stopped what they were doing, silent with awe.

The room was suddenly filled with flashes of color, dozens and dozens of rainbows, on the walls, the floors, the ceiling, on the blanket wrapped around Andy as he lay in my arms — the room was alive with rainbows.

No one could speak. I looked down at my son and he had stopped breathing. Andy was gone, but even in the shock of that first wave of grief, I felt comforted. Andy had made the rainbow that he promised me — the one I would never forget.

By Linda Bremner
Reprinted by permission of Linda Bremner
© 2000, from Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul 2
by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Marci Shimoff and Carol Kline.
jm@thinkingagain.com

2007-07-21T23:41:00.000+08:00

hey peeps haven been blogging in a long long time i noe.. but pardon me for it yeah. considering how dramatic (or rather hw i made it out to be) my life is, i really dun have time to phrase everything out nice and properly.. without washing away much essence of wad i really felt. oh well. so i guess im updating now becoz of NDP (n mebbe some dolphin who cries). lol. yup i jus came back from NDP rehearsal. i must say the concept this yr of having it at marina bay is rly amazing. from where i was seating (right smack in the midde), on my left was the singapore flyer, front was the stage and all, right is skyscrapers, esplanade and orchestra/choir stand. it was the best view anyone cud have asked for... ahhaa..

so as similar to all other ndp parades, the rain fell slightly jus before the parade gt started n miraculously disappeared, only to return after the parade lol. the goodie bag this yr is rly interesting with different color strips u can detach and zip onto other colors to DIY ur own bag. haha. but still dun think anyone will rly carry out.. okay lemme nw go on to more exciting things: SHOCK NO. 1: the moment i gt the bag n sat down i opened to see wads inside haha. and lo and behold the first thing i saw was nelson kwei's face! this time his pic is even bigger than any in our concert brochures. lol! wonder wad he's doing inside the bags for thousands of singaporeans lol.. some national icon eh? ahha. SHOCK NO. 2: the emcee was presenting this orchestra and the song their playing and omg tt song is arranged by PHOON YEW TIEN. lol! almost spilled those crackers i was muching away. but luckily the song is nice. so much so tt i forgive him now for the syf madness.

okay i think thats all for the shocks ahha anti climax but nvrtheless it was an exciting experience... RV choir was the choir.. tsung yeh is the music director, janani (the sop who didnt managed to dsa to vj) sang the theme song, and a diva duet btwn a tenor n soprano caught my attention. besides tt, the defence showcase was so spectacular i begin to feel proud of SAF n see things on the bright side reg NS. for once in my life. oh no but wait i think i jus lost tt feeling again ahahha. the rest of the mass display were jus okay lor ahha. but the water screens was cool.. tgth with the cute jellyfishes.. towards the end i was jus zi-highing with my mum dancing along and blasting away.. even majulah singapura. lol. the middle aged guy beside me must be thinking im nuts. but oh well i think my family did a better job in being high than those rah rah cheerleaders lah!

now tt pattaya is over and OMG IM SO HAPPY FOR ALL OF YOU AND PROUD OF OURSELVES, its time to hit the books. hahhahahahhahahahaha. okay tt laughter was jus me tying too hard again. but oh well. no need to tell me to hit the books. even the ants crawling along my kitchen flow are telling me tt. =/ thats it for now. catch me at caroling! =))

2007-07-01T23:13:00.000+08:00

dont try to understand this entry. coz P(X<0.001) so yah.

hey. im so sorry. i cant meet ur expectations. it may be too bad for me. but im thinking its more of too bad for u. i know what im doing so dont try to intercept. respect who i am or you'll lose the fundamentals. i hope things will stay calm this way.

once again, the great depression is approaching. not that im being negative or like being a pessimist coz i obviously dont, but some things need to be taken into consideration now that things take for this turn. dont blame me if you lose in the end. behind all this, a divine hand might be intervening indeed.

smile. thats all we need now. =)
now, back to basics.

2007-06-21T01:42:00.000+08:00

I have really thoroughly enjoyed the 'farewell' party! =) Thanks for everything all j1s esp the tenors lol. Dont wish to say too much coz i know it'll never end.. so yeah. i'll be back with more pictures to tell the story =)

2007-06-17T22:54:00.000+08:00

us camwhoring at esplanade rehearsal studio. didnt noe it was this nice. LOL.

takenobu mitsuyoshi! daytona and shenmue music composer as well as guest singer! "DAYTONAAAA"~~~~ lol... "he is a riot" - Arnie Roth.

ARNIE ROTH!! lol! the man of the show! he's really nice and funny! esp when he forgets to ask the choir to stand and gives a thumbs-up when we do! =)) "we'll do it again next year!" he said it! not me! haha.

the anglican high peeps and us! they're really nice and interesting to talk too! haha.. though tt man on the extreme left.. we all noe he's just scandalous. haha

2007-06-17T19:50:00.000+08:00

omg. PLAY! symphony is over. thats a good thing? mebbe? but omg for now its a huge NO coz i cant get over it haha. and to think we wanted to quit at first. but it was really amazing. even though its only 3 performances, 2 evenings 1 matinee, but it was quite unforgettable. oh lets just pretend to discount those mundane siglap practices we had earlier on. lol. even though to us who sat in for the orchestra rehearsals many times and we knew they played wrong notes here and there, but it was undoubted that the audience had a absolute great time and im really proud to be standing on that stage contributing to their enjoyment haha. the amount of people who gave standing ovation on the last performance was never-seen-before. haha.

of course not forgetting those camwhoring moments we went around the backstage of esplanade, of course with takenobu and arnie roth himself, and the organist to! HAHA. and those chit chatting with anglican high choir ppl that completely threw of the whole idea of me thinking that waiting backstage before the performance was going to be mundane and meaningless. yes yes and of course the great music!! i wished i had the recordings, or even the videos.. though i could go youtube to start watching all of them all over again... but nothing beats singing in a PLAY! choir ahha. all of a sudden all of us are suffering from PLAY! withdrawal!

okay. im having short term memory and all i can rmb is the PLAY! thing which just ended yesterday. and of course im blogging using a desktop n not my laptop coz its not even with me! i miss it. come back soon!

2007-06-14T00:58:00.000+08:00

ohmy. something at the back of my mind tells me a hell lot of things happened since the time i last blogged. but then again. im totally having some short term memory these days coz i couldnt even update gw properly abt what happened during his 4 days in hongkong. oh well.

all i noe is, the whole of last week and this week i kept staying up late late late into the night.. sometimes for faux-mugging, sometimes for day-opps-i-mean-night-dreaming, some nights watching self-convinced meaningful movies, and more often times jus staring at my desktop waiting for it to turn into the screensaver. wow sounds familiar isnt it.

anw what is fresh in my memory is PLAY symphony. with my whole 3rd week gone, it sure reminds me of my guilt for my books. but then again. PLAY is getting more n more fun...haha. had a rehearsal at esplanade today and its kinda cool. mebbe coz we've been deprived in the boring world of vch and siglaps halls the past few weeks.

cant think of anything much to say...supposed to wake up really early tml to meet ppl... so yah zzz

2007-06-05T19:32:00.001+08:00

utopia!

everyone yearns
who actually reaches?

a word so simple!
a word so ideal!
a word of perfection!
everyone says
who actually cares?

a word so superficial
a word so tempting
a word so deceiving
a word so painful
a word hidden behind facades of lost dreams
everyone knows
who actually follows?

utopia.
a world so perfect.
a word the world will never understand.

-Gekkou-

I am god's child
abandoned to this corrupt world
How do I live on such a field?
I wasn't born for such a purpose.

I am god's child
These chains won't allow;
my being toppled by
a gust of wind burying my steps.

I am god's child
with my heart cleared out,
only your feelings still messing it up
I still can't clean them up.

I am god's child
Keep telling me the "reasons"
till I fall asleep.
only ineffective medicines lay strewn about
but since there is no voice here,
whatever should I believe?

I am god's child
An empty sound leaves marks in my back.
I can't hang out in this world
There's nowhere safe for this thought.

I am god's child
Uncomfortably cold walls,
to what allowances will I
afford my weakness next?

I am god's child
Don't reach out your hand
to the very end,
only you can save me
from the solitude.
time accelerates pain.

I am god's child
How do i live on such a field?

2007-05-26T23:04:00.000+08:00

wad a day it was. i originally planned it to be some nice resting-at-home-and acting all guai.. but eugene jus had to go ahead with his crazy plan of gg to downtown east escape theme park today lol. yuhuai turned up too so there we go.. haha.

when we entered escape we spent the whole first part complaining abt why its 16 dollars plus when so many rides are closed and somemore the dark sky looked like its gonna rain lol. we were gonna totally regret entering then we started taking some rides. the viking and the go-cart was the most fun for me haha. we sat the viking twice and yuhuai and eugene says its even more thrilling than the inverter lol. i think thats only a ploy to make me sit inverter (i didnt in the end lol). at the go-cart i jus got into some accident after overtaking yuhuai lol.

some photo that eugene took with yuhuai in blue and im in white (this is the 15m drop). coz he says he's "scared" to go for this wild wet ride, but yet he could go to ride the inverter. =/

after tt we gt bored so we went out in search for kbox. whilst searching we ended up in arcarde which yuhuai jus ddr-ed again haha. so pro. then we went to tampines to find but cundnt find so we ended up in toa payoh kbox. supposed to kbox til 9pm but i gt tuition at 8 so had to come back. haha. wud love to go on singing forever lol. jus love it. like 3 of us holding our own concerts and diva-ing our way thru lol.

in all, tenors are jus hyper fun pple who rock. yes, eugene still counts himself as a tenor lol. it was so fun today. i wonder when's the next time we can have such fun again...

2007-05-24T21:20:00.000+08:00

oh dear.
this week has jus been weird weird and WEIRDER.
besides me finally getting back into the motion of blogging about daily events rather than pumped up overexposed events like choir's, this week has been nevertheless eventful.

its been so crazy. i got back my chinese paper and got a B for it. but then again its a very lucky one. been starting to clear my makeup PEs. as of today im only left with one more. alex lee must be so proud of me. haha. and im finally getting back into the motion of things (hmm. at least for econs and gp) grrr. june must definitely be dedicated to phy and maths. sighs. this term has been really hectic, but somewhat necessary too.

there's jus too many things ongoing i cant seem to operate and function properly now. without choir, there seems to so many other more complicated events unfolding in front of me. i had the econs test on wed and it was a total disaster. probably the worst econs essay/script i have ever written. not that i didnt study at all. but i couldnt really understand the question or link it with wad i noe. but then again im starting to find policy conflicts really fun.. so u see the topsy turvy-ness in me yah.... bleah. im nt exactly making much sense.

oh and on a totally random note. this whole 'depression measure by anatomical regions' jus popped into my alr crazy brain last night. depression can be classified into 7 regions. the legs, the thighs, the abdomen, the stomach, the chest, the face, and the head. the lower the less severe, the higher the worse. physically-induced depression affects the leg region and to solve it u got to drink milo. bad-day-induced depression affects the thighs, and to solve it we got to sleep. chemically-induced depression affects the abdomen and to solve it we got to have a good shower. anxienty-induced depression affects ur stomach, and u got to sit down and think and paint a mental image of wad to expect to solve it. emotionally-induced depression affects the chest, and we got to talk it out with someone to solve it. reality-induced depression affects the face, and to solve it we gt to tear. finally, expectation-induced depression affects the head, and you need to pray. yup. lol.

okay back to earth. other than the hanging lingering feeling of sian-ness in these few afternoons (particularly on wed) which painted a very bleak picture of wad to expect, everything else in the nice sunny mornings have been really positive. except for today.. which i kinda felt very sad after my chinese lesson coz yan lao shi sort of scolded us... hmm.. its been such a long time since she did that. its rly not a nice feeling. to be honest, im still interested in chinese partly becoz of her also. morever she understands how much a performing grp member have to go thru. it was jus very disappointing. sighs. anw b4 that, i met ms leong (principal) one on one in her office. it was regarding pattaya. unexpectedly, she had no problem in letting me go. in fact she was very nice. oh well. so i guess thats the case. no regrets or anything too. i rly wanna fight on with the j1s but there's alot of mixed feelings right now even though my stand doesnt waver...shit why must such things happen now. its so huh.

okay! so i guess thats all. been on this obssession with food and movies these days. jus keep eating and borrowing dvds. have to return one tml or need to pay fine. oh well. nostalgic or unfortunate, some things of the past are freakingly similar to wad is happening now. and it wasnt a good thing back then. i wonder wad will happen...why cant i jus be a naruto and fly off to seek solace in sereitei during the june hols? lol

2007-05-17T22:26:00.000+08:00

today was the first choir prac we had with mr kwei after syf. its been like more than a week. somehow, something inside me was looking forward to what he had to say. because we know in everyone's minds that gold would really arouse alot of debate and inner struggles, and i really wanted to know what the big man whom we all look to had to say about it.

what he said might not have been really good and flattering, nor something that made everyone go gaga and get to their feet in unwavering support for him.. but call it something personal, it did make an impact on me. and im really glad.

he came thru the corridor into the room with all smiles just like how he used to (forgetting the bad days) and you cud tell he really didnt noe wad exactly to say. but i guess he knew all of us are eagerly waiting to hear wad he had to say abt syf. so he started.. he highlighted 2 main problems tt we faced on 8 may. 1) stage fright 2) pitching. it was a perfectly reasonable stand, knowing how ajchoir always fall prey to these. but he acknowledged that we should be proud of it.. the gold.. and he reiterated that many times. he then went on to say that the judges said we were a clear gold, not a high silver to gold (which some ppl still think. pls stop living in ur own world lol). but probably that high to slip into the honours region. and that the 2nd half of the judging appears to be more strict than the first. but its fine really.. wad really made in nod endlessly was the reason he gave.

everyone knows nelson kwei isnt exactly someone who can tolerate low choral standards, or even in recent times, less-than-perfect choral standards. but he really said something which ajchoir relates to. and that was the value adding. it is without a doubt that most of us (if not all) come into choir at the very beginning with not much talent and not much background. from that, we are a silver choir, if not even lower, but we were the most hardworking grp. we trained. we perservered and we struggled. and finally we achieved. its a typical cliche example of how hard work exceeds genius. but its happening so dearly to us we really feel the true extent of it. i felt that was rly the case as i was part of the 'untalented' grp.. with no choral nor music backgrounds, but only equipped with the passion and the flame of determination that kwei hopes will continue to burn eternally. he clearly acknowledges the fact that we worked really hard for what we sow today. he knows, understands and so strongly believed in us, and thats all i really wanted to know. call me self-indulgent, but that comfort means so much to me.

today, i saw a great man humbled. he might rly appear to be the formidable and invincible man to some, but today i saw humanity. he did admit that ajchoir gave him so much stress that time and time again he questioned his own ability even after 20 yrs of conducting and a multitude of awards in tow. believe it or not, he lost more than 10kg because of us. and if you were here last yr u wud know wad im toking abt. haha.

there wasnt any singing today at all. it was just that talk. and thats all. simple and neat closure to syf..a chapter of our choral life. we then proceeded to give him the present the choir prepared for him.. cards with personal messages all over and a gigantic lollipop that spans twice of a human head as circumference. wad a moment!

the flame now burns. not only the flame of determination and strength, but the love & passion for ajchoir. no importa la distancia.

2007-05-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

GOLD! WITH LOTS OF LOVE!

that superficial side of us might be lamenting away. like omg wad in the world!?! *&^%$ hahaha.. but its really okay. because ajchoir is run by love, fuelled by passion. alot of it. so much so i never imagined that if we ever fall short from perfection, we cud actually handle this so well. we have matured. from xiamen to malacca to concert. its been a long journey. another part of us might be damning it to end with a mere gold haha. but we accepted it with grace. i was more than convinced everyone put in their best effort for syf. so thats fine by me. i have been thru 3 syfs in my life. a few other major competitions, and one thing all shud ever rmb is not to leave any room for regrets. and i know i cant find any slight room even if i wanted to. so its fine. besides, what has ajchoir not done before?

then again, thinking about this syf gold leads me to how im gonna lead my 'remaining days' haha. the new exco lineup have been up. sweehao as the pres, jasmine as vp, erin as secretary, gwen as treasurer, hazel as welfare, guowei as publicity and xiaoping as logistics. really happy with it. i mean not much reason to find fault with it anw. music comm are as follows: zhenkai as sc & bass sl, shermaine and cicillia as sop sls, charmaine and zongyi as alto sls, jonathan as tenor sl. so yeah, new beginnings yah. suddenly our concert title makes more relevance and sense than for any other time. its time for us to step down, our amazing 1+ yrs of blood, sweat and tears are coming close to an end. BUT only officially. seriously, i dun think anyone of us wanna leave if not for the devil of books and exams harrassing us. haha.

i love ajchoir and my batch the most. the 2006-07 batch. i wud nvr have imagined life without you guys. its time to let go again, and this feels scarily similar to my drama days ahha. though i really still want to go to pattaya (i shall reserve this issue of debate for another time). on the more depressing side, i have absolutely NOTHING to look forward to! other than the Play! Symphony thingy which im singing with vocal consort, and perhaps a couple of performances. then wads next if i dun get to go pattaya? carolling??? and then they r gonna say there's a limit so snrs cant go?? ahahha... i cant take this! i need the adrenaline rush! as much as our dear choir advocate love and music more than awards and fame, we have gone thru too many competitions to jus simply forget the competitive 'chiongness' we have inside us. ahha. i'll find something to compete for. im sure. haha. perhaps a desperate attempt will be to treat my tests like syf and wcg lol.

the awards this week for aj...CO gt gold, BAND gt silver. congrats to them im sure they worked real hard too. haha syf never fails to do this to us youths eh? anw on another completely random note, i realised certain choirs are getting really disillusioned. oh well. gd luck to them. ahha.

wow now i see the pt in blogging. only reserved for entries worth my time n effort to craft. =)

2007-04-22T23:51:00.000+08:00

boo. jus a fake post to show this month exists in records. =D

2007-03-06T23:19:00.000+08:00

Normally in the midst of such random periods like these, I wont be blogging. But I guess right now I'm feeling exceptional. Oh well. Been really disobedient as if going all out to rebel against rules set for all singers - I just consecutively ate hot and spicy stuff for 4 days already. I must stop it now. Well according to Eugene it helps. Definitely worth a try. With everything coming up, every reason is there for my voice to stay. But I can't just simply resist those spicy deep fried chicken or sumptous-smelling laksa/curry noodles! Oh man..

Something totally not related to anything, I heard Ayumi Hamazaki had contracted AIDS. My response was, 'Oh'. What else could I say? I might have been a fan of her songs, but she now has AIDS, most probably because of her own promiscuous lifestyle, and what am I supposed to feel? For her? No.

Well perhaps its very old news but I really am not catching up on much news recently, not to mention entertainment news. Well I was having a discussion with my mum just the other day in the car about our attitudes, in comparison to the society's attitude towards AIDS patients. Without a doubt, I can safely say that although the inital pity and compassion might be present when informed of someone having contracted HIV, the feeling is definitely not as strong as if I was informed of someone having cancer or other diseases. Perhaps this got to do with how these people got their respective virus, or even the society's stereotypes. But generally it came to a conclusion that especially in Singapore, if I had only a dollar to donate and had to choose between cancer fund and AIDS fund, I would choose the cancer.

Of course if you bring in the image of all the sick and homeless African children who got AIDS and not because of their fault, then it would have been an entirely different story. But here in Singapore, where most AIDS patients, are in reality, caused by their own weakness in succumbing to temptation. Once again, this leads me to another point which pities the minority who got AIDS not because of their own irresponsibilities.

2007-03-05T00:34:00.000+08:00

no more excuses.
i have obviously been lacking in control of my time and life recently.
perhaps since the beginning of the year.

talking to potato over the phone occassionally definitely helps =)

wad are my priorities? where does my heart lie? i would need to do something not jus answer these questions now.

anyway i might very well retake my chinese paper. still got that 1 percent uncertainty in me. gonna look for yan lao shi.

seeing all those jc2s take back their a lvl results did more to me than wad i thought. i must have a plan now. i must noe wad i wan. got pretty inspired by all those pretty/ugly sights i was exposed to.

perhaps a lil blogging here and there might help me keep in check where my life is heading towards at times.

jus had an interesting civics activity for the week. to craft our own visions and missions in life.

my vision: "The world is my stage - to create the most fulfilling play."

my mission: "Do the utmost best in whatever I do; for if I am a thief, so be it - master the art of thievery."

i went to the temple today. prayed... may i find myself back if i ever lose myself. may you be that constant breath of hope around me. may my hand be held when im down. thats all the love i need.

2007-02-13T00:15:00.000+08:00

admist everything.
here i am posting an entry.
really random. but this randomness explains it all.
been so painfully long since my last entry.
til the pt i need a new blogskin to encourage me to blog
but im too lazy. and cant afford the time to skim thru all those thousands at blogskins

eventful cant be used to describe recent happenings in my life anymore.
because soon i'll have to use words of the extreme scale found in the deepest pages of the thesaurus.

whether its the heat of the moment or a unlikely decision made against past regrets, im so gonna fulfil that promise/pact made. just wait.

its nearing the lunar new year week. its happy time for me coz mon n tue are considered one of my longest days haha. considering i have PE on mon and afternoon PE that ends at 5.15pm on tue. time for a break? i guess not. it wont come til my pact is fulfilled.

16 apr. 8 may. all these all milestones of the tremendous journey we are taking. it was never simple. but we're in all these together.

a simple closure would do. i appreciate. will parallel lines meet? you dun need to ans me.

2007-01-14T15:50:00.000+08:00

my lil bro and my new fav song! lol
i noe its been on the charts for quite some time but i love the descending notes parts. haha.

Take That - Patience

Just have a little, patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost,
I'm feeling your frustration,
But any minute all the pain will stop,
Just hold me close inside your arms tonight,
dont be too hard on my emotions

(Chorus) Cause I, need time,
My heart is numb, has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
Just try and have a little patience,

I really wanna start over again,
I know you wanna be my salvation,
The one that I can always depend,
I'll try to be strong, believe me,
I'm trying to move on,
It's complicated but understand me,

Cause I, need time,
My heart is numb has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
Just try and have a little patience yeah,
Have a little patience,

Yeah Cause this scar runs so deep,
It's been hard, But I have to believe,

Have a little patience,
Have a little patience,

wooh Cause I, I just need time,
My heart is numb has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing,
Just try, and have a little patience,
Have a little patience,

My heart is numb has no feeling,
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little...
Patience

---

met up with uncle sam on both sat and sun.
sat for a nice dinner and chat...
sun to send him to the airport coz he's gg back to taiwan alr
he is like the best company anyone can have..
having him around raised standards of hospitality, kindness and sincerity by leaps.
no wonder my body had the energy to wake up at 9 today jus to sent him off too.
amazing rite. even my mum was surprised, normally i wud wake at 1pm.

been really tired and restless this few days
dunno why too.. then at late at night i have this crazy thing gg on
where i will jus go crazy and high.. excited abt everything tt is happening
even if im alone =/
gw shud noe. think i was crazy on the fone last nite haha.

and of course my new eye candy.
the new nokia n76. omg, its more than eye candy
i wanna have it already. it will prolly take quite a while to be released.
and my, the price will be high
tts also jus nice coz CNY is ard the corner.. plus a few more months of savings..
mebbe i can jus trade in and get tt fone haha..

thank gdness there are things to look forward too..
went to the temple today..
actually told god in my prayer tt i feel this yr didnt start on the best note..
but i believe it will become even more fulfilling than last yr
but wadever it is.. im thankful for everything n everyone..
please everyone remain blissful and all hhaha.
the bottomline to jc life is tt u never noe wads gonna happen next..
so just enjoy the moment.. seriously.
i cant belive im saying this but prime youth is actually slipping away haha.

watched 2 new bleach eps yest
happy with the fact fillers r over..
but something in the show caught me..
is our history and fate a circle, or a line extending out to infinity..
and if it's a circling endlessly, should we ever try to break out of it?
or shud we give everything fate has given us back to fate?

2007-01-13T13:16:00.000+08:00

after a million years and a million tears (haha jus jking)
i finally finished watching the whole 1 litre of tears.
stopped at ep 9 for 2 weeks coz sch and choir was jus insanely busy
with all the rushing of hmk and the nvr-ending auditions..
haha.. oh well.

must say that the show was not jus some typical soapy depressing show out to make ppl cry. the whole thing abt it based on a true life story of aya is amazing enuf. subconsciously, watching the show has made me value life more and see thru some superficial unhappiness of it.. even though it may sound so cliche and we'll all probably forget wad we learn frm the show after like a few months.. but still its better than nothing. not many shows are so entertaining and carries such a strong message behind it.

here's the difference between becoming emo after watching the show and actually valuing emo-ness after watching it haha. in fact, watching this whole 'dorama' feels like some sort of a small part of the sch's mass civics programme. esp when the class needed to write paragraphs on the 7 key concepts we learnt whilst watching the 'whats right with this world' documentary.

been undoubtedly shagged the whole week. felt like one of the longest weeks ever and im ever thankful the weekends are here but tt jus means time is passing faster than before. haha. its back to rushing all those hmk again.. whether old or new. how i wish i could jus use my newly attained deathnote to write in the names of the hmk and they will jus perish haha..

og outing on thur was fun and crazy too. crazy in the sense i got to wear my full cat high uni with badges and all.. and actually went strutting around junction 8 ahha. the shorts were a good ventilation tool but unfortunately it was such a cold rainy day the cool ventilation soon turned to unbearable freezing of legs. ahha.

actually im still trying to get used to the fact how to use 'this yr', 'next yr' and 'last yr' properly haha. when teachers say IMF world bank thing was 'last yr', it took me while before realising its already 2007. haha. it will take some time lah. and my busy n hectic schedule jus makes the whole idea of time and space more confusin lol.

2007. wad kind of yr will u turn out for me? perhaps the things i have been searching for in 2006 have changed.. certain things which i do more often have now decreased in frequency... interests might have changed. direction could have differed, and emphasis now varies. jus take blogging for an eg.

2007-01-05T23:57:00.000+08:00

Orientation is over??!? its damn fast omg
totally cant settle down yet. esp when i think abt the hmk.
and im starting to miss those AZTECIANS already. omg
can we pls pls have a outing soon ahahha.

cant wait to see those peeps in sch and wave hi to them.

cant wait to talk to them again. haha. even though we didnt win anything except for the best monument thingy lol, but i think for most of us it was more than enough. i mean.. we even as ogls came into this thingy not knowing wad to expect and all. having come this far is alr commendable. at least tts wad i feel.

but i think im really lucky. to have those peeps as my og members. they themselves are quite social and enthu to a certain extent compared to others alr! rly happy abt tt. thanks!

come to think of it. its still all abt those silly stuff n crazy shouting cheers that we do... however stupid it may sound, u can deny the fact it actually bonds ppl. its jus the mood and who else is doing these silly things with u. at least now i can proudly say i love one more grp. my og Aztec. =)

"Sing me something soft, sad and delicate or loud and out of key. Sing me anything. We're glad for what we've got, done with what we've lost. Our whole lives laid out right in front of us." - aggie (from dunno where)

2007-01-02T17:45:00.000+08:00

people keep complaining my blog is dead.
ahha actually i agree it is dead.
2006 is over. as much as i wud still conveniently forgot and write my dates as 06, but its a fact i cant escape thats its the 2nd of jan today and school is reopening tml.

currently, exactly half of me want to go to sch and start all that hectic life all over again, and the other half party animal of me wanna stay around and laze more, and probably involve myself in more parties. haha, but i guess we all dun have much of a choice.. do we?

had a really interesting dream yesterday. probably something that made me click blogger.com to actually come here to start an entry. i wud call it a nightmare. but it wasnt scary or i didnt feel any extreme emotion of fear in the dream. perhaps this is wad they call that numb and emotionless. it was also one of those dreams tt after i wake up i cud still rmb most of its details.

it all started with my family and some relatives tgth with some choir peeps going to another country. it was obviously a foreign land, some weird place that looked european/western but most of the time inhibited by asians. it was probably supposed to be a holiday but after a while we knew we were there for another darker reason and the hol mood was nvr there to begin with.

then one evening we were all sitting down in an open area dining. many tables were lined up in rows and it was hard to see where each row ended coz of it sheer no of tables. there were alot of random ppl ard us. and somehow i wasnt mixing ard with the choir peeps. i was in fact, sitting next to my auntie who was whispering something into my mum's ear. then about 10 tables down the row, suddenly a few men wearing black blazers stood up and somehow this caught the attention of my mum. the next thing i knew we were all on the run in a van.

the van stopped at this hospital. it was weird coz the hospital's 2nd floor had a tour agency. and the building was almost empty except of the few of us who just reached. somehow the whole journey on the van and dining experience sort of put a rough image of wad is happening into my mind. i have no idea who told me or how i figured out. but wad was at the back of my mind was that someone in our grp had somth got to do with those men in black, and we r escaping them becoz they apparently threatened somth, and wad was to happen frm here on is extremely dangerous.

but somehow i wasnt scared. not the least bit. i wasnt even happy i was there. it was just like stepping into room, nothing happy or to be sad about. i probably wanted to tok to someone and that was when i found out there was no one except a few of my uncles with me. then suddenly, from a corner of the corridor alot of ppl emerged, it was my choir peeps and they were holding down one person, gw. they were moving slowly towards the wall. i looked at gw's face and all it showed was almost nothing. perhaps a tinge of depression and guilt, but he didnt put up ny struggle at all. he jus completely gave in to those holding him down.

then suddenly, heavy footsteps and emerged from the corner, then BANG!! it was damn loud. but i wasnt scared at all. i didnt noe why too. my aunt emerged with a gun, the same one lee young-ae used in the movie sympathy for lady vengence. the next thing i knew gw's body was thrown against the wall and bounced back onto the floor. dead. he was shot straight at the head. and i still wasnt feeling scared of even sad. it was weird. ridiculous and unexplainable.

a few sec later i saw ht crying and aggie consoling her. ht was apparently one of those who helped to hold gw down. i cudnt quite get anything tt was gg on now. i saw my mum and i asked her, "what happened?". she turned to me with a face crunched up like she was the one who shot gw instead, and said, "when we left, they (those men in black) told us that perhaps one of us was...."

at that very instant, i was shook awake by my dad coz it was 1pm and im supposed to be lunching alr.

i ate lunch thinking why gw died, perhaps he was a "spy" for those gangsters? i dunno. its still a mystery.

and.. come to think of it.. i rmb chihong saying somth like my rm will soon turn into a nightmarish room wher i will hav nightmares when i sleep. its sorta true. jus the previous night it was a demented gal holding a sword up my neck. but all these are still a far cry frm those typical nightmares where the dreamer wakes up in sweat suddenly..

funny start to 2007 i guess.

2006-12-17T12:05:00.000+08:00

sco just ended, as well as the first caroling session at four seasons ahha.
sco was just surprisingly nice.. esp the om mani padme hum 2nd movement..hehe
with them managing to raise 6 over million at the end, who could say it was an unsuccessful event.. lol. anw it was nice being part of it afterall.. even though at the beginning we tot the songs were rly boring. haha.

im beginning to fall sick! oh no.. haha. caroling again in changi airport tml. and guess wad.. wad im gonna say is gonna give u a temporary sense of relief. i haven touched my hmk LOL. and im beginning to lose interest in blogging often ahhhhh...

2006-12-12T11:03:00.000+08:00

if i could. i would have rolled my eyes a million times.

but of course no. thats not the stand im ever taking. even if i felt that way.
now thinking back, the escape was quite a good idea. tgth with the one sliding outta reality. but i guess the more experience we get stuck there the worse it gets when we come outta it.

we gotta do somth abt it before the sad part takes over our lives yah..

so could i still force a smile and say everything's alrite?

sorry this post is just a emo rant.i also need this sometimes. and also, to test out how the new blogger beta works actually.. but its like the same.. oh well.

2006-12-09T19:54:00.000+08:00

perhaps its time for an update.
taiwan came and went as quickly as malacca swept past bluntly

perhaps its time for a look in the different direction
perhaps a time for old friends and pals to have a reunion and once again go back to the green pastures where the once overwhelming cow dung is now actually disappearing
i seriously dont mind, maybe now i will have the time.

many things make me go.. 'ah.. interesting', perhaps due to my limited vocab or whatsoever, but seriously somethings just fails to surprise me anymore. if only we had put a little more thought into it? no... maybe its just good.. life should ultimately still be lived with meticulous care and moderation. the question remains.. was it all part of growing up? haha... perhaps now i can really follow duckhead and say the same things to my kids

jus quite back to the tired periods? after having ogl workshops for 2 days straight immediately after coming back from malacca isnt something really you would look forward to. but i guessed it was overcome with valuable joy in it.

my boo? i wont forget even if i tried.

ahh.. dun geddit? fine. im just so tired n random now.

2006-12-01T00:06:00.000+08:00

k fine i shall update. lol
if u have been wondering why i disappeared for so long
i was overseas in taiwan in case u didnt noe haha.
anw to prevent my failing memory frm forgetting where i visited
i decided to keep a record here by blogging day by day of my trip

day 1. watched cars and trick 2 on the plane before arriving in taipei. stepped out to my horror to realise its so hot even though they r supposed to be having winter lol. like 26-28 deg?! lol. coz of global warming they say.. delayed winter. anw. checked into hotel n all.. took taxi to wufenpu. some old shopping area. nth interesting. took taxi to taipei 101. nice place.. new n class. but the weather's bad so didnt take the lift up to the highest floor to see the city view

day 2. met up with my dad's fren here in taiwan..uncle sam and his wife..realy hospitable ppl.. rly nice.. they drove us ard in a car they borrowed. first stop we drove across the northern edge of taiwan.. along the sea line.. then into this mountain region called jiufen or somth. sells alot of nice food haha.. but it was climbing stairs the whole time. pretty tiring.. then we headed for another scenic mountain region where a buddhist society resides.. wow they have rly high ranking nuns n monks there.. sat down n spoke to some of them.. coz uncle sam n his wife does freq volunteer work there so they know each other well. one of the high ranked nuns asked me abt life n singapore n such n we somehow came to the topic of choir n wcg. lol. anw i rmb the first thing i heard when i stepped into the place was the om mani padme song playing in the bg..hmms. haha

day 3. woke up early in the morning to catch a train to jiayi state. oh the entire train's only passengers was my family lol. thats when i rehearsed natsu ga kita in one carriage whilst my parents were karaokaying in another. yes they have a carriage jus for it. and then took out my laptop n watched bleach.. til we reached.. 3.5 hrs later. haha it was rly smooth n comfortable though. had our lunch in jiayi then took another smaller train up the famous mt of alishan lol. the train has a v interesting way of gg up and sometimes it gets rly rocky n scary ahha but tts the whole pt. u gt to exp it urself. cant describe. anw. when we reached the top where my next hotel is its alr dark. in winter the sun sets at 4pm. oh well. but there's a gd thing there. it was ard 10 deg! hahah...

day 4. woke up super duper early like 4.30am. to prepare to see the sunrise.. hired this minivan to drive us to some unobstructed spot ard the mountain regions.. it was 6 deg at tt time.. haha. nice! and woohoo we gt to see the sunrise though it was freaking fast.. like 5 seconds n it hid back in the clouds haha.. the rest of the day was jus spent walking ard looking at gigantic trees tt were supposedly sacred. afternoon we took another minivan down to another small town called fenchihu. oh well tt place. they r famous for this sole thing called bian dang. some packed lunch thingy. other than the fireflies we saw in total pitch darkness at nite.. if u ask me i wud say tt place is not most unattractive tourist attraction ever.

day 5. forgot wad i did in the morning here. see tts how impressionable this town has on me. oh well. all i rmb was tt we hired another minivan to drive us down the mountain.. oh n in the van someth v interesting happened. it was a jap indulging time! lol.. ppl who were smsing me then wud noe i mean lol. and then we took the same first class train thingy back to taipei. once again the whole train was ours =/. reached taipei ard nite time so jus ate some macs and slept. lol

day 6. slept in! yay like for once! lol. and anw the past few days i've been constantly in contact with ppl back in sg.. on msn n hp.. ahha. wishing ppl happy bday n qngwn continuosly asking me for dota lol. decided to go back to xi men ting to shop and walk ard.. yup this time bought a tshirt n bag..oh and mymy i found out deathnote 2 the last name was just coming out in taiwan! OMG. hahahaha. jus too mesmorised by the gigantic poster itself.. o.O lol. other than tt. i forgot wad happened later on hahaha. i think i bought my pitch pipe ard this day too lol.

day 7. woke up super early again to catch yet the same type of train to hualian state. and once again yet another minivan was waiting there to fetch us on this little tour.. first stop was its 'beach'. technically it isnt a beach coz there's no sand.. instead its filled with small fine super nice stones n pebbles.. oh n the waves was strong. though nth much n we only spent 1/2 hr there, it was the most memorable thing i did. the setting.. so beautifully emo ahahha. had lunch at some exotic restaurant nearby n went off to taroko gorge. ahha its nice but im sure grand canyon owns it hands down. by the time we finished these tours n reached the third hotel.. it was nite time haha. OMG but tts the best part of the day. the hotel we stayed in there.. farglory bellevista.. its super nice!!!!! and super ex i realised. no wonder we stayed there only one nite haha. its one of the nicest hotel i have seen so far on a worldwide scale.

day 8. woke up and took a bus down to the haiyang gong yuan below.. some theme park owned by the hotel's management lol. ahha relive my times of disneyland.. sat almost all the rides.. watched interesting performances.. those tt remind me of aggie doing chachambo in feather blowers LOL. haha.. headed back to hotel to check out and took the evening train back to taipei. as much as we love the hotel, we had to leave coz there's nth much else to do n it will cost more than a bomb lol. but anw i rmb buying tt muachi as souvenir back ahha. reached taipei at 9 plus checked in back to the same hotel and learnt abit of natsu ga kita.. see i so hardworking ahhaha.

day 9. back in taipei again! ahha. spent the day walking ard shops nearby the hotel.. ate ard.. then somehow time passes quite fast n it was dinner time. so we headed to the shilin night market to eat.. lemme tell u someth. the food there isnt very nice leh!! hahhaha.. oh well. at least my family dun quite think so. anw. wanted to buy shoes there coz there were lotsa nice shoe shops but couldnt find someth i wanted so oh well. cant buy for the sake of buying u noe =p

day 10. hahha day out with uncle sam and his wife again. his son was supposed to turn up but he had some last min matters in uni. ahha.. i heard frm them he cud speak fluent jap so it was a pity ahahahahah. anw. had the morning free so was learning the jap song n reading bleach manga, coz by then i had alr finished the anime series. ahha. met them in the afternn n they brought us to this place called... i forgot! lol. but it looked like the pinacles frm perth.. jus tt the weird structures r formed by the sea.. had dinner at some taiwan food restaurant.. haha. then uncle sam n his wife said i look like monk-material LOL. seems like they arent the only ppl tt said tt oh well.

day 11. going home day. woke up and watched tv in the hotel the whole time. watched this super funny jap variety show n laughed alot ahah. til it was time.. this time i watched miami vice and step up on the plane haha. so i watched 4 movies in total gg there n coming back. cool. reached home one day early actually ahha. coz there's nth to do alr. lol.

2006-11-09T23:22:00.000+08:00

OP.OP.OP.OP.OP.OP.OP.OP.OP.OP.

well the monotony of it all is just amazing..

right. now im in this totally semi-high and pleasantly satisfied mood coz i just completed this major overhaul/revamp/re-organisation of my room ahhaha. been trying to do that for weeks but kept feeling too exhausted to do. finally. with siti's help! thanks! haha! wow but amazing thing is while cleaning up everything.. realised very interesting remains i actually owned. haha.. like the entire drama stuff.. with chopsticks..penknives, markers, even the starshooter banner is still with me. hehe. plus jing kang's differentiation tutorial. omg. im so sry. im returning it to u the next time i see u.. pls many many other secrets uncovered ahahah!

but realise some of these secrets could not be jus simply revealed to the world.. so i went ard hunting for some new loophole-less home for them! haha

oh well.. im craving for stayovers! pls. can we have at least one outdoor thingy and one indoor thingy b4 18nov coz im leaving and i wont be back til very long later hahah... must totally do alot in taiwan to make up for the potential fun im gonna be missing out on eh.

heard class organising this stayover at sentosa? coasta sands? ahha. fun! jus hope all the fun dun clash until i too sian to go for anything lol..

oh guess wad im doing now? editing op slides of course.. haha but im lotsa fun figuring out the many functions ppt actually has hahaha! didnt realise b4..

went out the whole day to buy presents.. buy until no money. but i love the omelette thingy at taka basement damn nice haha. and then MUJI!! omg. can practically live in it lah. told ya anything jap is sooo irresistably cool!!

alot of things to do. better list them out here in case i forget.

1. compile choir hol schedule
2. help find j2/j3 contacts
3. help mavis print the a4 photo
4. help xiany ask for purple file
5. get the sco list done
6. print neos.
7. bring neos.
8. photocopy pw op latest comments
9. check ogl list
10. return joey n zhiyu's cds
11. harrass gerald for mononoke hime
12. watch steamboy
13. rmb the ice skating date
14. arrange the last part of my room, the media devices area
15. do tt stupid maths thingy for the peer tutoring thingy
16. get a game like dota installed asap

blearhx. dunno already. haha

oh and i finally finished all 208 eps of naruto! haha u must be thinking im crazy rite.. anw now im starting on bleach, at ep 3. =/ long way eh. ahha. i'll take my time.. indeed. shaun said.. 'you have the life'..

2006-11-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

i so wanna blog
but everytime i try.. something else distracts me from completing an entry
this thing u see here is my 20th attempt probably. =/

lemme try my very best to recall the events that happened!
first. chinese is over. though it seems soooo long ago i dun actually rmb it happening ahha. still.. i wud rly wanna say i appreciate yan lao shi alot! she'll never come here.. but xiexie! =))

ah yes! had class outing yest! wow it finally took place ahhahaha well jm was quite pleasantly surprised by the fact it was quite successful..judging by the no that turned up hehe.. went to east coast pretty late.. all thats they were left doing was struggling to capture classmates and dunking them into the sea... and xc actually brought extra clothes coz he forsaw that! o.O lol. after playing abit of volleyball.. which was more like sand-ball.. coz the sand actually gave me a nice cut on my arm when i hit the ball... walked for 25min all the way to another end of east coast where there was this nice coffee shop and ate dinner there.. first time i ordered BBQ stingray whilst not eating with family.. haha i jus love it.. ate almost most of it.

while eating.. i probably have unconsciously realised something abt my classmates i didnt realise b4.. hahah.. it was a nice realisation though..

oh yeah b4 heading down to class outing had these super long n tiring choir sectionals thingy... learnt 3 movements of om mani padme HUM =/ and practised the @~%$&*^ bao ting zhan we needed to show kwei on sat.. witness the hilarious altos performed their sectionals... and finally understood the link between them n their laughing. oh and mavis and xiany = fatal laughter. haha.

for the rest of the days. we just keep having OP rehearsals. though i dun rmb rehearsing tt many times as a grp anw! ahhaha. oh and sat skipped choir coz of OP. like for the first time ever ever... the first scar on my attendance! ohno..! haha. BUT oh well. taiwan.. im confirm gg, i mean figured out family's still the most impt =)) *mum pls read this* and gonna sacrifice like a huge percentage of the hol choir attendance.. things will be fine! i hope.. i dun wanna end up as those cheer-ppl for syf team or be in the lip-syncing section ahha

had this op session with ms johnson and i tell u her questions are killers. really. oh and those who have mrs yim as their assessors.. come find me and gimme a nice treat and i'll tell u wad she likes and wad she hates in the presentation ahahhah.

oh and abt today.. planned to go ice skating after so so so so long coz ken forced me to but guess wad he ended up calling me saying he's all tired and dun feel like gg haha. ht n qw were unavailable too so haha... went window shopping for presents.. think i noe wad i wanna buy ahhaha. but where's the money?! ahha and met mrs yim in j8 too. aggie n the rest probably still didnt rly believe she's like married. seriously haha.

oh and fellow nov babies. dun fret. so sry if u didnt receive my bday msg/forgot to send u... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to LULU (2nd nov) EDNA (4th nov) & YONG KANG (7th nov)! oh n i finally changed my profile to reflect im seventeen. =/

and swen! when are we meeting up?! haha. tot we were supposed to have one soon.. oh well. yeah the song's from naruto. its some piece that comes on everytime something sad emo happens. nice rite. ahha. may we soon receive our new drama tee... revoAct! =)

2006-11-01T20:19:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU EVERYONE! =))

thanks for the:

well wishes
smses
12-midnite wishes
testimonials
presents
very impressive wrapping paper
and bday cake LOL
cards
handshakes
smiles
treats
sweets
chocs
soft toys
bears
love!
giving-me-those-eyes
msn convo wishes
helping me copy physics gfield notes
drawings of cute scandalous bugger monster
the bday song! x2
and the presence of all of u lovely ppl! =))

2006-10-31T21:24:00.000+08:00

today's an interesting day ahah as quoted from someone...=p
had the last chinese lesson. surprisingly the tcher gave up scoldings already..gt back result slip later... it was quite shocking.. and had a rather interesting OP rehearsal haha... think op is the most enjoyable of pw coz its the part we see MEs more than AEs lol. haha.

the chinese tcher mentioned something today.. abt pw.. which is quite true haha.. although the chinese exam is only like in 2 days time... none of us feel like a major A lvl chinese exam is impending and preparation is just almost outta the qn. of course nt for all.. but for most and me i can safely say ahha. and we seemed to be engaged in pw op like everyday and chinese lessons are just so uncommon! wonder wad's gonna happen on fri...

besides im nt aiming for anything high.. knowing my chinese standards..

went to pizza hut to eat with gw and gw thanks for making it so unforgettable.. for telling me stuff i would never ever imagine happening in this world.. much less to ppl close to me.. tsk tsk. nvm. we shall see to the end of this!

totally rushed back for OGL interview which was the most interesting of the day lol. had 2 nice ppl as my interviewers but they asked me to do this cheer thingy lol...i did it anw... but things werent tt smooth of 3 other frens of mine.. well.. seems like there exist a very ______ person... nvm i hope its still based on personal merit.. the whole ogl business wud be rather boring without u guys anw. its their loss if they refuses to acknowledge talents haha..

as for a certain close fren of mine.. if u had actually said her name like earlier i wudnt waste my suspicious energies LOL. like duh i noe who she is and totally expected her to turn up as the one in distress anw. HAHAH =/

and to chris n xc... thanks. ur efforts in hiding tt thing u were holding was a very gd attempt lol.

sighs. so many plans. too lil time...

choir
pw op
taiwan trip!!! arg. giving me a big headache.
malacca trip
jap course
ogl stuffs (if get in)
tt study thingy
carolling
sco concert
movie marathons
mahjong sessions
parties (many of them =))
sleepovers
outdoor activites
ice skating (yes im gg back lol)
and nyaa stuff (if i actually rmb)
and like many more to come...

thank gdness i didnt sign up for tt korea snowboarding/skiing thingy..

2006-10-29T18:11:00.000+08:00

woke up only to realise its already 9.10am on friday and rushed all the way to pasir ris to meet classmates lydia, xueqin, jiamin, ken, nash, jewel to check out the place for our SL. reached at 9.55am. O.o hehe.. after checking the place out and interacting with the staff and all.. we decided to go cycling at pasir ris park. it was such an unlikely decision actually lol. proves my point tt last min plans are always the best and the ones tt actually get executed.. haha. so we rented bikes and all even though i had no money lol. sighs have been heavily in debt for like 1 and a half weeks already. so sry everyone ahhah. i rmb to take money le mon shall be a returns to all day. =)

anw we cycled for 1 hr. then jiamin extended hers for another coz she hasnt mastered cycling lol. we sat ard.. drank lotsa drinks all paid by ken lol and finally went to the beach for a breather and of course to take classic black and white emo shots lol. of course having lydia there as the cp of ps is totally useful haha. here r some of the pics!

here's xueqin and lydia. with me in the bg lol. and ken's ice skates.

all of us without xueqin at the centre.

oh this horse is a work of the ppl at the Cerebral Palsy Centre. they gt nice abstract art hanging around too. hhaha

oh yes and b4 i forget..
thurs was a pretty interesting day too coz it was NE day and it started with this national defence talk or panel discussion thingy. of course it wasnt exactly the best thing for us to embrace so early in the morning for we were still yearning for tt extra time in dreamland. but the interesting thing was tt when they were introducing the speakers, those from mindef and all.. suddenly i spotted this familiar lady walking up stage lol. yes she is liangwei's and liangjun's mum??! lol yes. hahahs. didnt noe she was major. cool.

we went off in buses and felt like total primary school children all packed and waving to the ppl in the next bus =/ but haha. the first stop at supreme court was very very interesting coz i absolutely love the architecture of the building. its the new one mind u. we shud jus go visit the place again one day and have fun gg up the lifts or escalators all the way to the UFO shape place ahha... or mebbe even go and sit in one of the cases in hearing. haha so kaypoh lol.

after tt was visits to catholic churches, buddhist and hindu temples. almost every month im gg to the temples already so it wasnt tt interesting. haha but it was different for the church of st paul and peter. the moment i stepped in i realised there was this building beside it tt gives me a feeling i have seen it somewhere b4.. too familiar to go unnoticed haha. guess wad its the old cat high building! didnt noe it was still standing. here's some pics to prove it.. ahha. seems i managed to see the real one instead of always seeing it in the sch's corporate vids or yrbooks.

plus some nice arty farty scenes xc took with my phone outside the temples to complement the current singapore biennale taking place around the area ahah..

and this is so nice. thanks gw!~haha GGZZ!

2006-10-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

for all who think they have too much time on their hands..
or do not have chinese exam to sit for..
or are too confident of their pw.
u can always kill time by trying out this wonderful game:
http://www.gamegarage.co.uk/play/warbears/

its sure serves to kill of tt some time of urs.
=p
have fun.

had NO NARUTO today.
sighs. withdrawal symptoms already? but thank gdness i have games like the above to keep me gg. fueled by my frustration and impatience mebbe. =x tried watching my super ancient dvds like mission impossible 3 and guess what. i couldnt even complete the movie coz my mom couldnt wait to watch her korean series. oh well. and of course she wins coz she has the lethal 'chinese a lvl exam' weapon on her hands, to be used conveniently to stop me from any fun and excitement.

but well! tml will be a great day. coz im very sure my eps 81~ naruto disc WILL ARRIVE. and i can continue the series. hahhhahhaahaha! sighs. i feel so deprived...

NE day tml. wad will we be doing? will it be fun? haha. oh and finally. our class can have a reason to show our spirit. thru the new clas jersey to be made! thanks leon! haha... hope my no. 59 goes thru. haha. wanna guess hw i gt 59? the secret lies in GGZZ. =))

oh and if u have the time or bored too, go to jeremy tiong's blog and do tt love thingy. i think its so true. for me at least haha...

countless postpones of the movie marathon? when will it be eventually held and where? ahha...

2006-10-24T20:30:00.000+08:00

Tears restore hydraulically our balance,
Equably distributing our flow.
After joy or pain, the sluice below
Rises to release the pent-up salience
So that we might recede from what we know.

stayed at home the whole day to watch the sky cry til it has no more tears.
felt like a total pig though.
woke up at 1130
went out to eat
til 1230
came back.. watched 1 ep of naruto.
then 1pm eat
all the way til 2pm
then came back... went online
3pm fell asleep
woke up at 630pm
then bathed.
then 7pm went out
to eat
then 8pm came back..
then came back to EAT again.
now.. while chatting online and all.. im eating again! haha.

and sometimes.. its not tt we r feeling down coz of a certain particular issue
its tt we have no motivation to feel happy and high.
dont u get it? that's jus life actually.
=/
love shikamaru's attitude. totally rocks. lol.

2006-10-22T23:46:00.000+08:00

the world is weird. no doubt about it.
as usual. so many things have happened it becomes a norm
no we're no longer whining abt anything
or sighing or whatsoever.
no matter hw we say it
it will still drive home the same pt
n im sure we're all very tired of tt already

yes ppl. nothing is forever.
shit wont last forever too.
i can see u growing.
becoming stronger.
as love is still all ard u
and tts all tt matters
dont u think?

on a lighter note..
im hooked onto naruto now.
thank u so much zhiyu for lending it to me =))
but at the rate im going i'll soon need the missing eps

ggzz. GgzZ. GGZZ. we will hold on together.

2006-10-17T22:47:00.000+08:00

we pray hard.
if there's anything to make us feel better.
tell us. we'll be there.
a huddle, a hug, a tear...
no more losses. promises. let it mean what it meant to be.
please. for our sake.
we have gone thru so much
now we will go thru it together again..

"ten tears"

when i cry my ten tears during the day
wishing things went a different way
i think of the one person who ever cared
and the one person who was always there
and one less teardrop fell from my face

when im thinking of those 9 tears i still had to cry
and all i did was sat there and questioned why
i thought of that day when you held my hand
and when you told me all the time that to you i was grand
one less teardrop fell from my eye

when i squatted down real low and an 8th tear fell
and all i could think about was how my life was in hell
i thought of how you would tell me to stay strong
and i thought of how much i've loved you all along
one less teardrop fell from my nose

when i lied on my bed and 7 tears poured out
and all i could do was scream and shout
i thought of how you were always by my side
helping me, holding me close, along for the ride
and one less teardrop fell from my lip

when i cried my 6 tears at night
and everything consumed me and i was consumed with fright
i looked at your picture and smiled real big
thinking of how i joked with you, calling you a pig
one less teardrop fell from my chin

when i was running and tripped my 5 tears started to fall
and you told me it was okay and you gave me your all
i looked at you and knew i was going to be okay
not by what your face said but the things you always used to say
one less teardrop fell from my ear

when i was getting yelled at and 4 tears begun to fall on the floor
and when my parents slapped me and i ran for the door
i stopped and thought how you loved me so much
and how you helped me up like a crutch
one less teardrop fell from my hair

3 tears fell as i was getting made fun of right in my face
and i felt as if i had no one to love in this place
i cowered and thought of you and i
and how we shared tears together, how we cried
one less teardrop fell from my peachy red cheek

2 tears fell as if gravity took over me
hoping, wishing and thinking i would never be happy
i just sat and thought how much i loved you so
and how much i would never want to let you go
one less teardrop fell from my flesh

1 more tear fell as i thought of my family
and all the wonderful things we could have had
i thought of how you would give me your life
just to take away my pain and my strife
no more teardrops fell from my eye...

we believe. thats all that matters.

2006-10-17T20:35:00.000+08:00

It’s all because of the company you are with and the immediate people around you right. Humans are so weird creatures, always yearning to be motivated and preaching about all the gargantuan values to move on in life but somehow never ever managing to be satisfied about their own lives. But it always happens doesn’t it? Perhaps watching too many fantasies have thrown me off reality. But still I don’t comprehend sometimes…

But still I have to resign with fate and sincerely thank all who threw me back into reality and in the course spoilt my day. Thanks.

It didn’t help with the OP and we had to sit through everything all the way till evening, though it was interesting and not that bad in my case....but still I couldn’t help but agree with the view that PW sucks. Its stand and purpose has been shaken and more are finding it irrelevant and ineffective. Haix.

Its so weird that I seem to be blogging in a more formal tone with proper spelling and all because firstly I am using MS Word for the entry and secondly I HAVE TO CULTIVATE A MORE FORMAL TONE OR ELSE SOME _____ WILL JUST FAIL MY LANGUAGE. Yeah. But of course.

It either I leave the table or those ______ shut up. Thank you.

2006-10-15T12:26:00.000+08:00

THE MOST PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY TIRING WEEK.
is over. i hope. oh man.

next week. we have mundane mondays (cept for choir), TRAUMATIC TUESDAYS (im sure everyone noes why)... and the rest.. cant think of any adjective to describe coz they will all depend on tue. =/

slept for a whole of 13.5 hours last nite. and still have trouble waking up. oh well. overworked ppl we are. but events still never seem ending. PW and MT are just enough to kill my days... esp when they disallow me to watch my movies ! hmpf. even my phone is rebelling against me.. it refuses to set my fav theme and all... damn..

fainting spells and feeling lethargic are a common sight these days... weirdness rule again. hmm. gd thing is yest i finally managed to sit down on my super soft bed to watch howl's moving castle on my laptop.. it was another miyazaki film. very interesting fantasical imagination he has. things tt u never knew could be linked are linked together to piece a fine story.. hahah... u shud watch it for urself. but spirited away definitely still has tt x factor compared to this.. but all shows.. they never lack one element. and tt is love. how interesting..

hahah sorry to mavis and qngwn and whoever else who only watched til the 1 hr mark on friday.. show ur again another time. or come my hse one day haha... gt other shows to recommend too..

i think my blog suits quite well. lol. the epitome of aberration... haha..

oh well.. all i can do now.. is indulge in all i can in those existing dvds i have.. download more shows.. haha opps and start prep for my pw OP.

2006-10-10T23:00:00.000+08:00

oh man. this is so weird.
ahhha.
life just seems to have gotten more stressful after promos.
but i guess we should expect it???
haha dunno... just wanna chill out and start some anime show/movie marathon but it seems its all talk and no action at the moment lol. coz of all the rest of our extra heavy commitments.

had choir today for 6 hrs straight. including the first hour of successfully spoiling my voice by trying to reach tt 'IN' in circle of life. =x right. lets hope for the best tml! =) waternight sounded nice.. and i like tt song.. itsumo nando demo!

better tok less tml or else i'll lose wadever lil voice im left with already.. preserve...

we must totally jiayou k. hhaha. nvr imagined myself saying this but yeah..=)

2006-10-09T20:28:00.000+08:00

haha all these crazy blogging is probably to make up for my lost posts during the promos period.. haha.. anw the interesting thing is tt when im down here blogging my mum is downstairs doin facial. okay tts nt interesting...but thing is she gt like 2 professional-looking ppl into the house to do facial for her while she lies on the sofa with bright lights everywhere and soothing music in the bg... and the 2 ppl jus started work by taking out they huge array of 'tools' or products.. LOL. hmms. interesting how my mum claims life is too boring and is actually resorting to trying out all sorts of crazy stuff.... hmms. mebbe not as crazy as her son LOL.

as u can see above..those are my photos i taken while in germany last yr. haha i noe this is very random ... but suddenly i jus gt into this holiday mood thingy.. so i guess these pics will portray my mood jus as fine haha.

jus had choir today. after like so long. well it didnt feel THAT long for some of us mebbe coz we spent the whole mugging period with choir guys anyw. so yeah. we gt back tgth to sing waternight lol. the whole song. haha. and we're learning this new nice jap song from spirited away. hmms. back are the busy days of rushing choir stuff and having long late meetings .. as many things are in stall for choir soon..haha. but to many its when life starts again.. haha

hope aggie and de gals will have a nice time watching tt be with you cd i lent her. chris if u r reading this yes its the show.. haha aggie jus rmb to prepare kleenex. i dun mind watching it again.. mebbe i can crash ur hse lol.

and as for the time being... the days ahead are still weirdly boring except for mebbe choir? haha... coz its like dunno when some movie/sleepover is gonna be held lol... go crazy ppl.. go. hahahs. the destruction left behind by the promo monster. anw today it officially ends and ppl stop thinking abt ur papers even if u left a 10m qn blank or 20m of careless lol. okie? =)

2006-10-08T20:39:00.000+08:00

2006-10-07T12:45:00.000+08:00

Vatu Vara Island
Lau Group, Fiji

Property Info
Web #: 647747
Price: $75,000,000
Status: Active
Type: Residential
Category: Island, Ocean, Private Islands, Waterfront, Water View
More info: http://www.luxuryrealestate.com/647747

hey people! yes i know i have been away for a far too long time for you not to notice haha. but anyway im back and thats all that matters. anyway lemme warn you this entry is gonna be nothing but fantasies. read it at your own discretion and do not laugh. thats the most impt thing. haha!

look above u and you'll see this wonderfully beautiful magnificant island called vatu vara. very soon it'll be owned fully and privately by ME! yay! the great plan has been unveiled. first there will be 4 ppl who are gonna own the island. that will be me, guowei, gerald and qingwen. each of us will earn 50 mil each and when we pool tgth the money. we have 200mil. 75 mil spent on property, so left us with 125mil. each of us will be minister for respective areas of the isle. me - minister of home affairs (having affairs daily. or meddling with ppl's affairs haha) . gw - minister of mass media (of course.. gossip. his fav) qingwen- minister of environmental/nature conservation (with a capable asst the maiden of the forest =p) and gerald - erhem.. minister of s** erhem (yah...tts jus him). anw.

125 mil will be split and spent on diff areas. first would be building of infrastructure. yeah. we'll probably engage a frech designer, a jap technician, an american engineer and many others to actually build the things we want. it wont costs tt much coz its for a max population of 500 anw. =/ so yeah. hmm coz this isle is the most expensive private isle anyone can buy in the world.. it will most likely attract quite alot of media attention.. (of course with the help of the loudspeaker gw) yahs.. so i'll decide to open up my lil isle to interested tourists ahha... and they will come in with a modest entry fee and it will go into our revenue hhhaha... they will then be treated to the savoury sexy statues of none other than the 4 of us! the founders AAHAHAH. =.= for more details on the tour packages and the age limit for respective viewing of our statues, pls contact gerald.

of course. fast forward to 20 yrs later. we will have state of the art infrastructure and high level futuristic technology. if gw n gerald's campaign of ******** ******** succeeds we will have many many many lil people who need education. they will be taught the vatu language... singlehandedly composed by me. no you are not gonna ask me to give u a preview of it. but at this pt of time half the flora n fauna are already gone. and qingwen will be having a real hard time.. (coz anw he and maiden of forest are the main contributors of the new emerging lil ppl who are totally depleting the isle's resources ahha) the best thing abt our island is that we are the first in the world to celebrate any major world event/holiday... coz we are in the time zone of GMT +12 ahhahah lol.

okie enuf. check back more if anymre outrageous plans are coming out again from our very idle minds. this is wad happens when u mix trauma frm the recent promos and pure boredom of being stuck at home coz of the haze. anw the haze is much better nw and im gg out lol. tts probably y the story ends here. bb!

but for nw lemme post some photos of random happenings during the past week days/weeks.

2006-09-23T17:55:00.000+08:00

Andrea Bocelli & Hayley Westenra -- Vivo Per Lei

2006-09-16T14:56:00.000+08:00

forbidden city last nite with my dad was great
the show's really intriguing.. with the characters portraying those extreme emotions really well.
loved kit chan's new power voice.
the rest of the cast was wonderful as well...
really thought they deserved a standing ovation..
some parts were pretty overwhelming..
i think gw go will cry ahhaha.

but the thing tt hit me most was the lyrics/lines of the musical..
their songs were beautiful
but their lyrics were even more strikingly meaningful
next time i'll upload a playlist and the lyrics here..
ahha waiting for zhanny to try it out first..

and it was my first time inside esplanade's theatre
been to the concert hall countless times..
actually it looks the same.. just more compact.
with the accoustics jus as pleasing.

to those who are gg to watch it..
ahha.. enjoy yourself..
=))

aand...

haha... terence toh's back!
waved hi to him when i spotted him during h2 econs lecture
he must have spent his entire day waving to choir pple!
lol!

dunno y its like nothing big but we're jus excited he's back.
lol.

and ms chin!! LOL.. she's so amusing!!
she lectured for h2 econs yest
and gonna continue on her 25 m essay for the next few periods!
but hey.. she's not bad.. quite a good lecturer.. jus tt she's really really verbose
hahahaha. like every other econs slide gt some bombastic eng phrase. lol.

these ppl never fails to amuse me!

had this mini choir session yest to perform for the pe dept.
it was really fun!! hahhahh. like totally!
coz we were jus going on n on singing old songs... while the pe tchers were discussing..
it was only 15 of us.. or less
but we managed to pull thru alot of songs.. without any conductor haha.
who cares if we went sharp.. haha we totally had fun.
but unfortunately for wadeva reason we didnt manage to sing karimatanu.

and the promo monster is raging thru the city walls tearing everyone and munching pple up!!!!
save the world!! get ur guns ready man!!
aggie! use ur laser beamZ! hahahahahha. LOL.
save your frens!! pple!

...

2006-09-12T21:17:00.000+08:00

what does newfound passion for maths, econs and anything else academic
peppered with smiles and finding new hideouts around the school have in common.
they are probably nothing but blatant facades.
mebbe that includes accepting frens on frenster..

and that very paint used to paint that colourful life is wearing off.

WHY!

ask for the reason. but there's the endless flights of steps. and im tired. really really tired.

no one told me.
until now.

life just has to slide down that hill.
no matter ending off with a cliff tt throws u off into a sea of sharks
or into vast meadows of tranquility.
who ever knows?
as long as u never regreted...

i promised myself.
and i singlehandedly broke that promise too.

perhaps no one...
would ever understand that pain.
mammi ga ahma zai er nia

whats the point??
the point is....
whats the point??
the point is..

you may think the reason and everything's inexhaustable.
but its not.

thinking has brought me here to this conclusion.
its thinking that have changed everything too.
its still the same old u.
its still the same old me.

passing reservoirs have never been so painful.

and as everything is said and felt and heard..
it all revolves around nothing but back reality
where perhaps submitting EOM is more impt.
the endless cycle. de circuito aeterno.

and back to what i believe that matters.
you said you'll only think abt it after promos.
time will tell it all. all the best in this 4 weeks.

2006-09-10T14:34:00.000+08:00

just like that..
the hols are coming to an end.
together with many other things.
through all these struggles, im sure we'll emerge with something more than what we initially looked for..
just like that.
and that is for us to keep as our own.

2006-09-06T16:11:00.000+08:00

BLEACH - Life is Like a Boat - Rie Fu

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along,
Who’s gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on coming and we can’t escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you through another day

dooku de iki o shiteru toomei ni natta mitai
kudayami ni omoe dakedo mekaku shisarete tadake

inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don’t give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

hito no kokoro wa utsuriyuku mukedashiteku naru
tsuki wa mada atarashii shuuki de mune o tsureteku

And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore

Oh, I can see the shore
When will I see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I’d feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along,
I will follow you, and keep you strong

tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku odayakana hi mo
tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de ume o terashidasu

inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

And every time I see your face
The ocean heaves up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon
I can see the shore

Unmei no huneoko gi nami wa tsugi kara tsuki e to watashi-tachi o sou kedo
Sore mo suteki na tabi ne, dore mo suteki na tabi ne

2006-09-03T13:07:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a really interesting day
started out the day with great plans to study and learn intergration
and probably do a lil econs..

met up with gw at amk.
gt bitched like hell but oh well....
shant elaborate lol
thank gdness we didnt have another taxi-driver-hears-something-wrong-and-outrageous-and-almost-get-into-a-car-accident experience...
no space at amk lib
so we went down to national lib in bugis..
did maths while he did econs til ard 2.
then we headed into bugis junction for lunch
ahha..

ate at billy bombers.
ordered some gigantic half chicken thingy that is so difficult to cut..
and the cedar gals sitting at the next table was busy gossiping abt us..
partly coz of my uncivilised manner of disecting the poor chicken up.
nvr eaten there b4.. so naturally didnt noe their theme was to mimic the 80s'
anw. scary thing is gw noes all the songs they were playing
while i knew none..
tt either means im totally suaku
or he is totally lao ah pek.
oh well.

went back to bishan after lunch..
stuff we talked abt during lunch made us kill the studying mood le..
so we trudged back..
and we visited the newly opened bishan lib too..
haha i like the cacoons glass thingy sticking out haha
quite cool..
jus tt it was never endingly crowded.

then i went home..
slacked for a while
then did the choir minutes that im so proud of haha.
even made a file to keep it for myself. lol
aggie be proud again! haha

mom wanted to go bishan to eat tt famous wonton mee again
so we headed down for dinner
jus as i was walking thru the coffee shop trying to find a space..
i spotted someone super familiar!
it was timothy!! oh gdness.
but i didnt say hi yet.. coz by the time i realised it was him i walked past his table already
so after my family found the seat then i went to look for him to say hi
and hohoho.. guess wad..
i not only found timothy
i found xinchu! douglas! joey! shihao! like LOL.
was pretty shocked abt tt coz i was jus thinking of my pending herd outing this fri ahhaa...
so coincidental!! (but oh well nt til u hear the later parts of the story)

they were pretty amazed to see me too
coz actually the day began with onli xc n joey planning to meet for study grp..
then halfway thru they bumped into timothy n shihao..
then later on douglas joined them..
or something..
basically all the meetups wasnt planned..
all the herdians jus came together unknowingly and actually stayed together for the next periods of time hahaha

they were apparently studying the whole time for like 8 hrs straightZ!!!
it was quite ohmygosh but i managed to get over it..
anw they asked to join them to study after dinner coz they were gg to continue lol..
so i told my parents n left with them to bishan lib..
this time we managed to get the nice cacoon spot jutting out frm the frontal region of the lib! hahha
it was quite cool having the entire world of pesdestrains below see u mug. lol..

anw the lib soon closed n we headed back to j8 and was abt to break off to go home when!!!
ohmy!!! i spotted chris and shouted for him!!
hahahahh!!
then the entire grp of us was even more amazed by our fated meetings today..
for months the herd has been trying to plan an outing and today we jus all seemed to appear at the same place at the same time!!! hohoho!!
it was so cool...

only left tianxiang who was busy playing comp at home?? lol..
the rest of us all met without any plans to before-hand.
jus plain fate. hahahahah.
so anw as usual being us we got so excited we started taking pics
and here they are lol.
made an interesting commotion in j8 too
with ppl walking past staring at us lol...they r probably amused!
haha but im like so used to it.. ppl staring LOL. opps.

2006-09-01T13:02:00.000+08:00

yest was teacher's day celebration
today is teacher's day
happy teachers day to all teachers that ever crossed my path.
you've changed my life in one way or another.

right now we all have one month and one day to our promos if we start counting from today the 1st of sept. promos start on the 2nd of oct.
yup.

lets talk about yest
went back to cat high after teachers day celebration which ended at 915am coz ACES was called off coz of the torrents
well anw.. thing is the idea of gg back to cat high like so cool
but when i stepped in it wasnt so cool coz it reminded me of alot..
the nostalgia lunged at me like with no warning.
and the stark difference in culture in cat high n aj
and not mentioning the stark difference in materialistic qualities in both schs.
missed the sch hall...
and yest we were there when we overheard the maths dept giving back the sec 4s their prelim maths papers..
and they had 95 percent distinction.
im really smiling for u guys.
seriously.
esp the new maths hod.
u remind me of my pri sch days

and worst thing the pri sch section was jus right beside the sec sch..
but i didnt managed to go back to the pri sch to visit my teachers...
so sad. was at the canteen eating... but my fav stalls werent open..
when back and did my usual walk/stroll/strutting across the staff n hod rooms...
met almost all the teachers i knew or i cud meet..
was really nice to see them again...
i mean.. familiar faces sure gives u a sense of belonging.

and it wasnt so cool on another acc..
coz the teachers had to leave really quickly for their staff lunch..
nt much time left for all the small talk..
reminded mr chan tep kok abt our yue hui 10 yrs later at the carpark across the sch..
it brought back memories of my lower sec..
which im amazed at myself the minute details i rmbed.
gw wud be scared of me too..
coz i was almost relating every conversation we had btwn other ppl and scenes in lower sec in great detail.. to the exact thing each guy in tt frozen tableu spoke.
goodness im drama mama-ing again

anw didnt managed to see much 4-5 peeps too.
dunno why... but oh well...
thing is when i went to j8 after tt with gw andrew philip kenny gerald...
i saw big grps of diff classes having gatherings to decide wad to do...
yeah..
oh well.

its okie anw coz i still enjoyed myself pretty much..
but of course being me in all such nostalgic situations i will get tired really easily and so i was quite quiet lol
watched devil wears prada too..
i still really wanna watch pirates of the carribean and lakehouse.
blearhx..

and i missed the cj drama production Panopticon

i miss all of u so much...

now lemme dedicate this part of my teachers day entry to all my teachers
but coz of space n memory constrains i will only start frm p1.

pri 1 - mr koh bee leong
pri 2 - ms sim li ching
pri 3 - ms wendy quek, mdm tang miew fun
pri 4 - mrs hazel tay, mr wang
pri 5 - ms khoo kim kim, ms leow (nw mrs doo)
pri 6 - ms mok ling ling, mrs eunice teo
sec 1&2 - ms mary hua
sec 3&4 - ms sarasvathi p
(+ all the cat high pri n sec teachers lol coz almost all noe me n i noe them. esp drama teachers mrs neo n mrs tham n mdm endang n ms thian and mr maurice cheong. mrs nora crothers.. so many wow) many of them are no longer teachers in sch or nt teaching at all but still.. "once a teacher, always a teacher" to me..
J1 1st intake - ms valerie chan
J1 2nd intake - mrs juliet yim
(+ all the other sub tutors though im nt as close yet but thanks alot)

jus wanna say i appreciate all ur effort n concern.
really =))

its times like these...

2006-08-31T19:11:00.000+08:00

i realise i haven been blogging
too lazy and no time
and alot of other crappy reasons.

so yah.

the sole purpose of the existence of this entry
is for my dearest cousin
huang xiao xuan.

riighttt. wait til i find out more stuff abt u frm jorensylv!

2006-08-21T23:10:00.000+08:00

INSTRUCTIONS
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 10 people to play this game too
5. Bold the questions and answers that swack

How are you feeling today?
Novo Concertante - Lollipop - like a lollipop... i might have sucked out all the sweetness and taste it might have thats why im feeling quite shagged now at the end of the day. zzzz.

Will you get far in life?
Christina Aguilera - Genie In A Bottle - hehe. mebbe a genie in a bottle will appear before me one day granting me 3 wishes which will lead me on in life...

How do your friends see you?
Avril Lavigne - Falling Down - well well well... how shud i interpret this?? haha. i guess falling down is more of the norm.. but its the getting up part thats meaningful. and all that effort in getting up cant be possible without frens like u.

Will you get married?
Celine Dion - Then You Looked at Me - i can interpret the 'then' in 2 ways... one which is the past tense 'then', the other which is the activity which follows 'then'. for the formal, i wud predict that i would not marry my first love, as the feeling's gone and its all in the past. for the latter, i wud say only after a tumultuous period of love-hate moments, THEN i wud finally settle down. or mebbe im jus thinking too much bleahx. =x

Will you ever have children?
Carmen Twillie - Circle of Life - oooohhh.. interesting song to depict this qn. as the song title suggest, its about life. and i guess that means i would have children since the song's about new life on earth...but yet i can see the circle as an 0. which means 0 life... 0 children. LOL. ahha these interpretations will never end..

What is the story of your life?
Michelle Branch - One of These Days - yup. this i would agree quite fully. if i were asked to describe THE moment in my life, i would probably say anytime, everytime... its true because my life story is all about 'one of the many days i lived' may it be happy or sad.. because every moment i treasure my life.

What was high school like?
Stefanie Sun - Hai Pa (scared) - was it? hmm. to a certain extent yes.. some of the many things i did were motivated by fear... but it doesnt mean it carries a negative connotation or anything.. just that i tend to succumb when im enshrouded in this mist of uncertainty and unpredictability. its probably the fear of doubt. but nevertheless i definitely took away countless happy and unforgettable memories..

How can you get ahead in life?
Gwen Stefani - Crash - LOL. yup by crashing straight into success it meant.. =p actually its quite true becoz im quite a crazy person who will dive into crazy ideas at the last min.. mebbe thats considered as 'crashing' too.

What is the best thing about your friends?
Hilary Duff - Rock This World - DEFINITELY AND TOTALLY. without them my world wouldnt be a world.. but a lifeless planet i suppose. i can also honestly say im more of a frenship-oriented person.

What is in store for this weekend?
The Veronicas - 4ever - hmm. forever? yah it'll take me FOREVER to complete the still-accumulating-pile of hmk i have.. =((

What song describes you?
Jay Chou - Qing Tian - so ironic to have a chinese song describing me rite. lol. to further emphasize the irony i wanna admit tt i had to ask shaun for the meaning of 'qingtian' before i typed this..so i THINK it means clear sky..not sure abt the clear part but hmm haha yup im definitely as dramatic as the sky.. one moment with dark clouds looming ahead the other smiling vividly with rainbows! hehe. that sounds so cliche but oh well its still true to a large extent.

How is your life going?
Katie Malua - Nine Million Bicycles - yup there are nine million bicycles in beijing... just as how people all around have been commenting on how random the lyrics of this song can get.. i am just or not more random. dun believe can ask yimei jiejie haha lol

Will you have a happy life?
Avril Lavigne - Take Me Away - yah im already having a happy and contented life from wad i see.. but it says take me away?? take me away and fly me to even greater heights? take me away frm my current lifestyle so i can be happier? these questions are inexhaustive..

What do your friends really think of you?
Hilary Duff - Dangerous To Know - HAHAHHHHA LOL. this is hilarious... FRENS.. tell me honestly.. am i dangerous to noe?? =pp (haha mebbe to gerald coz according to him i turned his entire jc life upside down even b4 he spoke to me =p)

Do people secretly lust after you?
AJChoir - Bin-nam-ma - LOLOLOLOL. no link eh?? mebbe thru all the KUMKUMKUM.. or mebbe... like the song.. the is a terrible flood of people out there who lust over me waiting to crash thru the floodgates and drown me along... =xx

How can you make yourself happy?
Ashley Angel Parker - Let U Go - hmm. letting go is a definite must must in life. nt too sure how this title relates though.

yup tts all hehe
do it also if u wan..=))

2006-08-21T00:25:00.000+08:00

hehe wonder why i even blog now..
jus nothing to do then while
surfing bel, zhanny n saffie blog
saw this baby name thingy.
yea... here's mine when i inputed 'zhengkai'

The only potential weakness in these names is their tendency to being a little too emotional. If their energies and time are spent in cultivating their artistic talents then their beauty will shine. These people radiate love from their eyes. They respond to kindness with warmth and gratitude. Giving to others is their natural way. Their hearts respond with compassion whenever they see suffering. They are meant to administer to the needy and to inspire people with their love. This can be done either through the medium of music or through some humanitarian endeavour. If they lack direction or self-discipline then their lives can be difficult. In that case the emotion builds up as a craving for love and sex accompanied by feelings of self-pity. From an early age they desire to perform some meaningful work. They cannot do mundane or mediocre work without suffering. This is both an intelligent and idealistic quality that is strongly motivated by a humanitarian urge.

They are inspired when they are motivating others through their love, and terribly depressed when there is no meaning to their work. In the performing arts they can move people to tears because of the depth of their emotion, and their own tears flow quickly when faced with the suffering of animals, people or situations where there is a loss of love. They are very responsible and take seriously all their commitments. As caregivers they excel. Their love has a sincerity to it that is healing in itself. They feel our problems or sickness and their sympathy is genuine. Their challenge is not merely to be sympathetic but to help through wisdom, or suffer the consequences of being drawn into and influenced by others' problems. Their compassion is the ultimate human sentiment and must be directed by their intelligence. As teachers they could be inspired if they knew that the spoken word releases the greatest power of all when it is empowered by compassion and the wisdom of life.

Their difficulty lies in not being able to cut through the problematic areas of those they are helping, and not being able to distinguish between sympathy to the problem, and sympathy with the soul of another individual. It is hard not to fall in love with these people because they are so loving. Love is their greatest asset as well as their greatest liability. If there is not sufficient balance in the rest of their names they tend to live for love rather than love to live and give. It is in their giving that they discover the true essence of love. If they have not realized this then they are forever seeking a lover to satisfy a spiritual impulse. When they have discovered the universality of love they will never again suffer the loss of it or the insatiable craving for it. It is a matter of perspective. These people have a great potential for creativity and accomplishment because of their confidence and strong responsible natures, that is, if it is directed toward meaningful pursuits. Otherwise they can become complainers and worry over trifles. A constant fear of loss and self-pity can lead to nervous exhaustion and breakdown.

2006-08-20T13:07:00.000+08:00

everytime i try to blog
i wud do something that hangs my com
and i would turn it off and forgot to save my entry
thus this delay of entries.

anw i spent the past few hours indulging in waternight
cannot help it coz of its intriguing nature.
really dunno how r we gonna get tt effect though ahha.
whoever who wanna listen can ask me or shaun. or any1 else who have
i noe meirong gt the score lol

in the midst of doing econs hmk
realised im quite lost ever since P&C.
tsk.
i dunno whether to call this luckyy or wad
but im in for the selection of pupils who need to have their gp stuffs checked
BOTH for dept AND for mrs yim. goodness.
=xx

new addition of family!
the cornyyyyy family lol
yes we had our first official family ceremony
yest nite!!
hmmms!
LOLOLOL.
anw. im the POPcorn.

hmm gerald! *winks and gives u the EYE*
its never going away for a long time boy.
and all the best on fri
when we perform with taipei male chorus
(oh and apparently even my granddad noes abt it)
when mr leong's church choir & cat high choirs all coming lol

had family dinner with ahbu and rest on fri
laugh non stop for 2 hrs? lol
tt was zhanny..? lol
new addition to family we have jk as cocroach! lol
he's tt black lump kazhua thingy u see running across the foolscap paper where our family tree was written on lol

still treading into that new world.

2006-08-16T20:22:00.000+08:00

You Are a Dreaming Soul:-

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this worldSo much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time

You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.

Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

2006-08-14T21:35:00.000+08:00

today was a tiring day
pe was .....arhg
the wonderful frog jump thing he had to come up with
see la
now can even climb stairs properly
tsk.

homework is still tt same mundane pile.
at least it didnt skyrocket as yet
but so...

many other things are about to happen
best thing is we dont even noe wad to expect
so yah...

was smsing alot alot.
to zhanny
uncle
guowei
bel
=)) =((

btw im jealous chris, joey, chihong n xc managed to find some weird spot all the way frm admiralty mrt to watch the fireworks unobstructed. with no one else around. tsk.

haha. just tell urself u're fine and keep faith ya.
lets be in this together.
but irony still fills the air.

-following text will lead many into going ? unless u r specifically involved. thanks-

lets face it
we might just be the ones making things complicated
putting it thru a different obscure perspective that lacks reliability
and there you go. all sorts. of crap.

it wouldnt sound this simple
but some insist on such a presentation
i guess that only provokes that innert nature of pretence in us once again
aren't we just so used to such a habit it longer works but instead comes across as an obvious facade?

all figures of speeches almost seemed as though they point to the same gist.
its so scary its an understatement.
so what if the facade's scratched?
as though we cant be anything more than helpless?

truth isnt much so that we r in a pessimistic state
its just that we r going thru yet another phase
one that allows our rays of light to shine unpredictably once again
isn't that what we always are?

yes that is. we're still us.
at the end of the day, when the sun sets for eternity,
we'll still be together collecting souls of hope and destinies.

if it even remains..

PS. i'll add a word into the truth of phrase - ignorance is bliss. yes. ignorance is dangerously bliss.

2006-08-13T13:42:00.000+08:00

i cant take any photos of any moments
coz my memory card is still with dear princess tingx!
lols.

had seniors farewell at my place yest.
initially i was apprehensive about 70++ ppl all coming to bombard my area lol
but i tot it was fun and crazy idea anywae
and hell yes it was.. ahhaah
i had like the entire sop and alto section of gals crashing my hse all the way at 9 in the morning~!

shaun and bel were the first j2s to arrive. showed them my room-ful of pressies
had fun making ppl feel bad LOL muahha.

was talking to my mum some days back..
she entered my room only to see it being crowded by mountains of pressies
then she asked why we so enthu about buying so many stuff and spending time preparing all these
without thinking i answered 'without them there wont be us'
haha it might sound random and 'oh-so-noble-of-them' and 'jus-so-exaggerated-of-me'
but hey. it jus came out. my mum was pretty intrigued by tt haha.
but she could understand the passion i had
she always did..

so yah hey. farwell went well. as long as they r happy im fine with anything.
the entire sat was spent with ppl i love.
if only tt lingering nagging of doing hmk at the back of my mind could disappear forever.
ahhaa!
oh and i think choir ppl are a creative bunch.. nvr had such interesting pressies with interesting meanings behind them b4!

now the keyboard's in my room
never had one before
and gerald was right. i had great fun with it
even though i dunno how to play!! lol

after farewell
zhanny, ah bu, mich, bel, qngwn and guowei stayed til 7pm
some ppl like yuklum and tzechong was dunked into the pool ahha!
went fireworking after tt
walked a long long distance after tt jus to find the rest of the choir peeps haha
it was fun. til we gt lost. lol
amazingly we managed to crawl outta that wilderness in 2 hrs!
boarding the 2nd last train!
so tired.
tot by drinking cans of coffee cud stay up to do hmk
hahaha fell asleep after fiddling with the keyboard lying beside me!

...
ishita
arti
jasmine
char
tongx
bel
zara
yuklum
lala
hannah
jeanne
zinuan
serene
xinyi
huiying
qiaowen
dingjie
kunlin
sweekiong
zhoupeng
shaun
tzechong
hanquan
likky
chinguan
malcolm
zhixiong
...
wheegeok ah bu
yimei jie jie
sze mun
edna
gillian
joel
mark
luke
and whoever j3&above i missed out!
...

thanks for everything.
at the very least
we DID share those moments.
=))))))))))

2006-08-10T16:18:00.000+08:00

haven been blogging in a long long time
sorry!
haha! super busy with everything. ndp comm stuff. farewells. homework..
rahhh!

many many things happened in the past 10 days of course.
too lazy to recall all too ahha

some random points i have learnt

1. practise your tuckjumps becoz they will train u to have nice jumpshots
2. ignorance has never been more blissful.
3. farewells make you spent ALOT ALOT of money
4. never sleep at 4am and expect urself to wake up at 8 the nxt morning
5. having a rubber face is quite self-entertaining
6. but dont do spastic expressions suddenly or ppl with weak heart might really get a stroke. esp on the track when running. =x
7. dont waste time typing all this coz when you still have work to do

haha. wadever.
cannot dun blog.
coz feel guilty tt my taggies are much more active than my entries

choir peeps, 11 to be exact crashed my hse on tue
all squeezed into my room.
oh well.
call it cozy! haha!
of course i wont elaborate wad goes on in it.

wed went out with zhanzhan!
went to his hse later in the day to wrap pressies too!
hhaha. reached home at 10pm.
chatted and didnt do any work
nor prepare any cards.
tsk.

realise i cud wrap presents!! wowowa!
AND i cud use some gold n silver oil based marker to design their names!!
double wow for a person who gt 18/100 for art in sec 2.
=))
give me a cheer or clap ppl!

ndp concert was okie.
wasnt the best thing ever
but hey.
in aj standards it was gd. lol
apparently.

i like rm 111. its nice.

stress has never made everyone go so bonkers b4
its so stressful its amazing.

boonteck is getting quite crazed abt msn and blogs and tags.
spamming tagboards for aggie n bel seemed to be the best way to destress.

i seemed to hav this memory laspse and cant rmb anything tt happened from 1 aug - 7 aug.
can someone pls remind me.
thanks.

oh n wow to HIM & HER.
wish this couple all the best. =))

sat's farewell at my hse.
gdness. lol.
presents are stacking up into a xmas tree/mountain
i can hardly walk around my room. =/

GGZZ, uncle and abu - cant do without ur ahah

2006-07-31T20:05:00.000+08:00

i haven been blogging
not because i totally forgot about the existence of my blog.
nor am i too busy to blog.

because for the past few days ever since i came back from xiamen
i am really speechless
there is just too much for me to share
but it will lose its value if its here on my blog in great detail
and anywae that will take me years to write
as good as writing a book titled 'the xiamen story' ahah

it has been a really magically overwhelming experience
i was on this emotional roller coaster the whole time
from the depths of despair on one day to feeling blissfully in heaven the other
of course both were experienced with the extent of working my tear ducts
i never did wanted the moment to end
but it did anyway

ajchoir has given me much more in 7 months than what cat high could have given me in years.
it has shown me things i could never have the chance to see
thank you
i love ajchoir.

2006-07-21T21:59:00.000+08:00

omg omg omg

by the time u read this..
im in china already.

cya pple.
=))

a silent prayer.

2006-07-19T20:29:00.000+08:00

rahh!
to all the teachers who are gonna stuff us with week 5 work
in advance for us to complete in xiamen.

rah rah rah!!!
to the super tight pw schedule tt mrs yim absolutely
successfully managed to scare us today with!
=(((

rah rah rah rah rah!!!!!
to this entire idea of having no life.
=((((((((((((((((((((((

oh well obviously im nt the only one
and good luck to everyone really

and whoever lisa is on gerald's blog
its getting outrageously stupid
no one stalks like that.
get a life. HAHA.

xiamen's really LOOMING.
yea it is. and the packing must end soon.
tml i shall get my nano.
=))

realli need something real nice to keep me gg.
can tell why they said term 3 was hectic.

also
somewher nt too far away in bishan
a sch is facing some trouble.
lotsa controversies and internal chaos.
hmmm.
i feel sad for them.

oh well.
sorry for boring u with my rants.
haha. dun worry im still fully functional
with only a lil bit of me doing really clumsy things
like almost spoiling a laminator
almost tearing a paper box
almost spilling my soya bean on myself
and banging into a huge restaurant signboard.
hope that is all.
it bette be
=//

2006-07-18T22:24:00.000+08:00

sunday saw me going to siglap for the last time
(or at least for now)
and yet it didnt cross my mind
and so i didnt bring along a real digi cam to capture moments
ahhah. oh well
but i guess my phone's gd n functional enuf!

alighted from my dad's car only to be greeted with a black mass of ppl
yup. literally becoz we were all asked to dress in black anw.
but but but.
then i saw shuan.
in white!
hmm. looks like someone actually koped gerald's plan of coming in white to stand out from the rest
probably trying to act like some BAI MA WANG ZI lol.
(knight in shining armor - for ppl who didnt get it =/)

hohoho.
shuan and his poseur clothes ahaha
i told him he looked like some lao ah pek trying to act teenage punk!
wahh im so so evil... =x

awww. dun they look like ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY??
lol. =))

but yes DATOU.
pls inform us in advance b4 attempting to scare the daylights outta us like wad u did on sun lol

the informal mini concert thingy came and went.
vic chorale was good.
i mean tt goes without saying.
they have to be gd.

but their sacred music has this one song tt they seemed to be lullabying themselves.
and let me tell u it was extremely successful.
in terms of humming tunes for ppl to go into lala land
=pp
and to think they ended with their heads bowed low like they really fell asleep

then it was us - cat. mixed youth.
well obviously some was interestingly bad and others were interestingly nice.
but overall jus not our best definitely.
shant elaborate and bore u to death with the nitty gritty.
but hey. at least we r getting more experienced to standing on stage ahha.

someone commented we looked like robots.
hell true.
i still dun get why ppl can sing with a face of nonchalance throughout all four songs?!?
what were they thinking ahha!

then it was VC's contemporary cat.
it was really entertaining haha. esp the bass screamer in pamugun.

another day over,
another session passed
another opportunity towards perfection missed
the days are numbered. literally.

had tuition in the nite.
chris forgot to turn up.
and i actually reminded him.
TSK.
well here is evidence of jingkang n gerald slacking
playing with fone huh!
must be something salacious inside.

OPPS. i jus gave myself away as slacking too
or else how did i take the picture LOL

.......

monday was pretty boring n sianified
other than successfully slacking from the 'sai-kang' we had to do in afternoon PE
hahha. well it was really a shitty job becoz the water we had to pour out from
those god-noes-how-long-they-have-been-preserved i-sport bottles
really stinked and smelt like sewage. arhhg..

had choir. really shagged. as usual
gd thing is we finally gt our choir tees!!
+))
ajchoir - no importa la distancia yeah!

today went okie
with physics teachers going bonkers both in lectures and tutorials
and was almost really late for the NSW english thingy.
and wow. the NSW thing was really interesting.
cant wait to get back the qn paper to challenge others with it!
it almost gave me new found passion for the language lol!

afterwards meirong, aggie, gerald and i stayed back inside the staff rm to help with the lamination and cutting
and of course, thanks to them im still feeling guilty.
gerald im pretty convinced it all but ur big fat plot to do this guilt trip thing to me
ever since i made u guilty tt time haha
=))

oh yes!! tt gal today during assembly was really impressive!
she's a lil psychotic jus like me. ahah
coz ppl who join drama are all at least halfway psychotic! lol.
but still i was listening to her every word and was impressed.

i started packing and yet im nt continuing and thus nvr ending. =/
(okie im nt realli making sense coz im tired n sleepy....zz)

2006-07-15T20:01:00.000+08:00

i dunno wad to say
i dunno wad to blog
xiamen's in 7 days
exactly in 24x7 hrs we will be at the airport
embarking on a journey
i dun wanna be emo so soon leh!!
dun liddat leh
dun tagg emo stuff on my blog nw!
dun blog abt emo stuff yet ppl!
wait! dun allow ur tears to flow so quickly haha

anw. ---------
------------
--------------
------------

okie. change topic
*attempts to change mood too pls*
yesterday was supposed to be blog-worthy.
but why har?? lol
forgot le
anw yest nite went to CHMA
aiyo i hav nothing to say
coz i was absolutely-trying-to-make-myself-high-when-im-obviously-not.
gerald also. gw also. haha.
anw shuan, yingtong, bel, and huiting all super mad!
yuklum is ultimate mad woman of the year.
loves small little young cat high pri kids and goes crazy whenever she hears jay

haha wonder of mr lee hb did notice us screaming his son's name lol

here are some very lousy pictures coz it was total darkness
and it was lucky my fone had flash already
but i jus didnt position my fone properly so
gerald gt cut off
gw is okie, and i ended up looking like a even more aneroxic
version of mary-kate olsen of wadever her twin sis name is
BAHHH.

am i supposed to be laughing or crying.
at econs / geog.
RAHHHHHHH EVEN LOUDER!!!

anw had choir today
tml also have! i think we totally crashed someone else's concert
to showcase our competition pieces to our parents
to appease them of the amt of time spent in choir
ahhaa but whatever it is my folks are turning up.
they always get totally excited abt these things.

and my mum jus gt so excited abt packing tt she prepared the luggage rite b4 me
and even offered to make sunglasses for the VERY-HOT-JUST-LIKE-ME xiamen
talking abt this, i jus rmb there's some1 called jupiter, another called herself mars, another venus, and then this stranger named saturn. but im still the sun. all revolve around ME!
sorry im totally LAME AND RANDOM.
im dunno why too. =((

HAHAH QINGWEN AS MICKEY MOUSE! =))

and see the 3 most shameless people in choir!??
OPPS SORRY ITS FOUR!!
the forth one is ME!
im taking the pic thats why!
hmm. zhanyong, gw and gerald himself seemed to fascinating over gerald's provocative msges!

ROARS. i dun wanna blog le.
im gonna pack!
so happi. changed money le too.
hope i dun get detained in china and be sold as some child slave/prostitute coz my passport foto is me when im pri 3! which is 1998! hahaha. even mrs cheong says it stills looks like me la!
ppl who r young and youthful is liddat de!
dun be jealous!
=))
=((
=))

2006-07-12T22:06:00.000+08:00

woke up at an unearthly hour 6.10am.
its definitely unearthly for me.
coz my lil brother had a bowling competition
he had to report in school by 0645

zzzzzzz

so i lazed and dragged my way to sch at 0635
first of all the chs ppl to arrive at tt usual table
den i saw tx!
hhaha didnt noe he come so early
considering he lives quite far away

earlybird huazhi arrived soon after
then surprise.. chi hong. haha
chihong n i were chatting when suddenly this BIG GIGANTIC
dragonfly flew straight towards him!
and lo and behold!! landed on his BUTT.
and refused to budge.
yup it stayed there for a whole 10 min.
here it is!

then i suddenly realised i had to go meet the ndp comm
coz we had morning announcement to do haha
but well. it rained HAHAH. as i predicted. so it has been postponed to friday.

had a rather interesting chinese lesson
haven seen the chi teacher laugh liked since forever.
saw it today
i think she shud laugh more

had choir
as usual ahah
had exco foto taking
i think gerald and i r mad
so vain. HAHA.
qingwen also.
and jus a few secs in the hot sun and we're done
ahah we r also the biggest grp or something

went to amk after choir
it was a rush of logistical stuffs
ahah had fun stapling!
gerald wanted new specs
then we met his fren
who apparently forgot his name and called him GUPITER.
see the GPT. hm. LOL.
how apt. ahah.

anw we were walking to find a busstop and managed to walk past this contruction side in the process of building a condo
walked past those billboards
aahha
apparently gerald got excited abt it
here's a sequence of events abt wad happned:

notice he went so high and crazy and mad in the middle of a public padaestrain walkway that even his bag couldnt take his highness.
ALL JUS BECAUSE HE SAW "ETERNAL FUN"
well. we passed by another "eternal excitement" later on
and he swore he's coming back for another shoot.
MADNESS HAHA.

realised even qngwn shares the same view and desire
for time to jus stop at that precise moment.
we cant wait for xiamen yes
but we dun wan it to end so quickly either.

yeah. jus rmb n cherish n enjoy the moment.
thats abt it.

xiamen in 10 days

2006-07-11T19:38:00.000+08:00

ITALY & WORLD CUP.
somehow they jus go together.

wow. nw kwei will be appeased.
imagine his smile all the way in hong kong lol

and i found out how jus this term 'world cup'
can end up as the best excuse of the year or somth
teacher: why nvr do hmk?
student: world cup
teacher: why come late?
student: world cup
teacher: why u sleeping?
student: world cup

and the thing is
the teachers happily accepted it.

in fact
marktan who is nw serving the army says the
entire battalion gt a day off coz of world cup.
so... that means ppl wud stop fighting a war jus to watch world cup.
hmm. yah.

dont make me tear again.

2006-07-09T11:57:00.000+08:00

realised it has already been july 9
and yet i only blogged 2 entries
oh wells

for yest choir we had a very long lunch break
in fact it was slightly more than 1.5 hrs.
and yet. we had to run back.
haix.
anw 8 of us went to eat haha. here we are!

dun ask me why some ppl were here and some werent

both r jus mad.
zy was psychotically tryin to be in some weird unearthly positions (like ju-on)
while sucking his sprite from the straw.
and guowei appears to have his lover stolen by zy.
tt prolly explains it.

and ahem.
someone looking all guilty here.
but hey come on its nt ur fault
no one cud predict anything rite.
hm i like this depiction. the guilty in the foreground and the reason for his guilt exposed in the background. ahhaha.

anw wad happened was tt we ordered our food
and waited til 1.10pm.
den i asked the staff y wasnt it here.
they said
"oh sorry unfortunately ur 2 pizzas r burnt so we r making new ones for u now"
WHAT!!!!! LOL.
from a long 1.5hrs lunch become a short 10min stuffing-pizza-into-mouth feat.
then after tt had to hurridly pay and run all the way back to siglap cc.
tsk. =/

but for makin us wait they gave us a complimentary garlic bread
-_-............. (jus count the no of dots there man)

choir was jus very tiring.
and we tenors ended the lastest of the herd.
tsk. haha.
so draining tt aloy n i probably had not much energy left to keep lookin at the clock though our hair appt was at 4.30pm.
anw we managed to get out to get a cab (and a little thanks to boon teck for tt)
so we rushed down to shunji matsuo
and here we go. poah sin first to cut, den me, then aloy den saffie.
ahah

here! us eating at kfc
gt one staff to take foto haha
all jus cut their hair!
jem tiong also. but he didnt join us after tt

heard gpt n qngwn met mr seow walking ard in town.
thank gdness he didnt see me ahhah!

and gw
when r u gonna heed kwei's advice and start tt slut course so
the choir gals can benefit for kincinta???

2006-07-07T00:14:00.000+08:00

yay. we had no sch today becoz
anw the sch owed us this GE hol thingy since term 2

but anw we had choir as usual
kwei came today with a rather big boom
he wore tt same ITALIAN shirt again
and said italy would WIN.
lol. how amazing.
but seriously it may jus come true
WHERE IS MY GERMANY???!

guowei! you good! thx alot.
make me waste money buy the shirt now they also cannot win!!

choir prac was interesting.
if our prac exceeded 11 means we werent gd n needed scoldings
thank god it ended at 1150. and tts when we did kuncinta twice
for some reason i hate the choir room now
siglap so much nice
more space = more room to blast notes
= more confidence
which is obviously lacking in some of us.

after choir prac went to novena sq to eat
burger king
haha. onion rings, burgers, drinks.
all nothing compared to carl's jr.
went with gp, gw, ch.
gp almost gt married to BK by wearing one of his onion rings.

then gp had class outing meet at city hall.
so gw n i alighted there too
and omg. his pd tutor was there also.
she was hilarious!!!! she told us we shudnt be frens with gp
hahah. coz gp prolly all evil n corrupted
unlike his very much overrated self-proclaimed innocence
ahahha.

gw made PLENTY of transport BOO BOOS
we wanted to go to tampines road
so we alighted at tampines mrt
onli to take a cab and find tt tampines road is all the way at hougang/serangoon area
....... cab fare?? $8.90
amazing.

and tts not all.
went to find tee shirt maker
address at paya lebar.
alighted at paya lebar mrt too.
onli to find out its relatively far away from it.

tts jus wad i hate abt singapore.
like yckss is in amk??? dun geddit.
haha. and beach road prawn mee. in bedok. hahaha.

anw we entered the tee shirt supplier.
guess who greeted us!
mr goh ky and mr goh yong hang!
ahhaha. found out later the owner was an old boy
and xiany met her cedar's bookshop auntie there too
wow so mani connections.
oh and psssttt.. tt place apparently makes all those CH merchandise u see
eg. socks, water bottles, pens, yup u name it, they have it.
so they better give us old boys discount huh!

btw saffie, tt guy was damn impressed by ur design ahha
kept fantasizing how nice it wud turn out when he finally printed it
hope it will. =))

gg out with xiany, aggie and gw is jus = laughter n madness
they r jus as hilarious to me as how hilarious they think i am =/
meanwhile. our other angel agent had fun pawning zy in dota.

travelled ard singapore.
sat NEL, NSL, EWL. all 3 lines.
sat buses
and sat taxis
and it was a transportational nitemare in some cases too
ahha.

jus wanna hav prac all the way til xiamen leh.
tsk.
oh ya we will need to cross a river by sitting a boat or someth in xiamen.
embrace urselves. =)

angels exists to promote love and peace.